30 Day Challenge: Day 13: Write A Letter To Someone Who Hurt You

Dear Fear-
You B*tch! I really need you to leave my life, right now. I don’t need you, especially since I know you are a lie from the devil. All you ever did was paralyze me from doing the things that I wanted to do, by scaring me into thinking I would be better off not taking a chance. Or by telling me I wasn’t good enough to be anything more...you were wrong. You know the last straw should have been the night before Morphicon 2018, when I started to have that fear of the unknown anxiety. But I was able to suck it up and make it! Then you tried again in when I was heading to Tennessee for Leadership with my sorority, luckily I was able to suck it up and put on my big girl pants AGAIN. Please leave me alone... can’t you see that I am not going to listen to you anymore. I am going to continue to follow my dreams and if I have to step out of my comfort zone I will because I have found that the more that I listen to my heart and do the things that I want the more I realize you are just holding me back. Every-time I step out on faith I grow because I accomplish whatever goal I set before myself. Now you want to put fear into my being with other worries, but guess what I will still defeat you as I have every-time in the past. A person can’t figure it out until they try. When you have a situation in front of you and you choose to try you come to a fork in your road and you are given more options, you choose again and there are more options. Yes it is scary, because we know that with good times comes bad times and there will be times when we choose an option and maybe things don’t work out in the first path, but guess what there is another path. You know I listen to Mariah Carey and you know she sang:
I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again on my own
And I know that I'm strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day and I make it through the rain

She also sang:

Up out my face boy
Up out my face boy
Up out my face, I break

You ain't never gonna feel this thing again
You gon' get a lot of calls 'cause I CC-ed all your friends (I break)
I ain't walking around all mopey and sad
Take a look at my bags baby (I break, when I break I break)

So basically I’m out of this emotionally abusive relationship... I am enough, and you are a joke. Don’t even trying messing with my fam or friends... vanish my dude!!! 

Sincerely, 

Princess of DE 

PS: 

30 Day Challenge: Day 12: Blogger?

How did I find Blogger? Why did I start one?

In the days of MySpace I use to blog regularly if not like 2 or 3 times a day. For whatever reason we all stopped using MySpace. I don’t know why. I just know we stopped. I tried other modes of blogging but nothing was quite like MySpace. I believe a gentleman that went to Howard started a blog around 2010 about his dating aspirations and the loss of his job due to the market changing. I am not even gonna say names because I found out he was put on front street by his ex and its messy.  At the time I admired his work and I was having a tough time with working a part-time job, without journalism being involved. I am sure I searched “Blog Spot” because in the web link it always said Blog.spot. Searching blog spot sent me to blogger. So when I started the blog I had time because I worked where I was usually not very busy and in front of a computer. I was fairly bored. I was also at an age when I thought, as I got older and starter to mature and mature things would start happening  in my life that I would want to share. (More info about that: https://princessofde.blogspot.com/2019/11/30-days-of-me-day-2-meaning-behind-name.html ) Unfortunately by the time those things started happening, I hadn’t kept up with the blog and decided to keep a lot to myself. For instance between 2014-2017 I was in a very good relationship... well good on my end (I have no complaints we just wanted two different things) ...and there were good times that I could have shared on this blog... (Would it be weird to share that now? 😂 ) At the time I shared pics on instagram, but I didn’t feel like I needed to go into details on a blog so I didn’t. I honestly thought I was going to get the ring, but I was wrong. In the mean time I started a Kpop/KDrama blog and I was posting on that one more. For example... my relationship ended at the end of February of 2017 and my favorite singer had a freak accident like the same night or something... I bet you I blogged about that... (Please view: https://kdramaseoul.blogspot.com/2017/02/jun-k-accident-during-d-3-of-6-nights.html )
I guess in the beginning I really wanted to show the life and times of the Princessofde, but as I would blog I really wanted to make sure I was promoting a positive message, which is why many posts were spiritual. I started this 30 day challenge to help me revitalize this blog... but I think it is going to help revitalize myself.  😂

30 Days of Me, Day 2: Meaning Behind the Name.

This Is NOT Sex In The City

It really isn’t.
Although I started this blog in 2010 the name relates to my memories from Howard University. My sophomore year my roommate and her friends loved the show Sex in the City. I was never a fan. (I am 95% sure I would appreciate it today). Something that I realized the show was doing was battling the traditional ideas of sex and the role of women. You could say they were showing sexual independence. All the while these women were always beautiful and dressed to kill. These were the original Boss Babes.

Unfortunately for me... I’m not or at least I wasn’t and Dover, DE is a far cry from a city. Even though my fashion sense is decent, I am still not Carrie. (I have been second guessing this full length sequin gown I bought for a ball).

So this blog was suppose to cover the ironies of dating and living in Dover. Looking back it really has been. Reading past passages I laugh as I rack my brain trying to think of the crushes or dates I was talking about.  2010 in North Carolina was sweet.... I feel like the blog over all has been true to its name, but I could have shared more in 2015-2017 about the long term long distance relationship I was in that ended not surprisingly over marriage or lack thereof that we both said we wanted from the start. Let’s call them the Baltimore Years. At least it wasn’t a bad relationship and I found out Baltimore is not as bad as it is made out to be. But I guess we both dodged a bullet.  That is another post for another day.

Who knows maybe after these 30 days of Me, I will discuss getting back into the dating game. 😂 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

Maybe....

(At least I know how to look cool)

Allow me to reintroduce myself…

…because I am not new to the whole blogging thing. I wanted to depart from Myspace and try to work on a blog a bit more professionally. (My idea of professional, which actually means I have to step my writing game up.)

In the past my blog was quite random. If I was dealing with a love crisis I would blog about that, if I was trying to be motivational I would blog and include scriptures, or if one of my favorite artists dropped a new album I would basically write a review. Somehow I will mesh all of that and become a little bit less random at the same time.

What I really want to bring to this blog is a look at a woman (ME) in her mid-twenties getting closer to thirty everyday, who is seeking full-time employment, would like to be happily married at some point or at living on her own, and to be a mother before entering her mid-thirties, while seeking Christ and to make all other dreams come true, before she dies; as she watches everyone else do all of the above twice.

“This Is NOT Sex In The City”, I don’t live lavishly, yet I am a Princess (the Princess of Delaware in fact), I am still at home, but I don’t have much choice, I have a degree in Journalism, but I am a Creative Writer, I have been trying to get a better job for about four years now, but I’m not complaining about my current position as a Library Assistant at a local college. I have been in serious relationships but I think I was the only one who was serious and sometimes I question just how serious. What sucks is as time progresses it seems like guys get worst in the fact that they are all losing their traditional values/beliefs, or are wanting to get married at an older age (even though you can turn 65 and still be immature or unable to commit), which causes a problem for someone like me who has very strong traditional values/beliefs. I’d like to be married and then have a child, but the older I get the more concern I have for my health and the baby’s. (FYI: raising a puppy is similar to raising a baby, they have similar needs, one just has four legs, LOL.) I get to thinking, Geesh I should just have one by myself (taking applications for sperm donors…j/k). My biological clock is ticking harder than a grandfather clock. It’s like I am racing with several clocks and I get close to the finish line and then some how it moves further away from me.

That is where God comes in, because as I try to live with all of the disappointments in life, Jesus keeps me upright and not fallen into a web of sorrow. If I have yet to die, if I have had such a struggle, yet I keep on going God has something he wants me to do and that is why I add scripture, because maybe my problems, revelations and solutions will help someone else and I can please God too. I can come off preachery, but the message is usually something I need to hear to fill my heart back up.

All in all I hope that in the end I find a way to just be totally content in what ever life has for me. If I get all the things I want great, if I don’t well….