30 Day Challenge: Day 13: Write A Letter To Someone Who Hurt You

Dear Fear-
You B*tch! I really need you to leave my life, right now. I don’t need you, especially since I know you are a lie from the devil. All you ever did was paralyze me from doing the things that I wanted to do, by scaring me into thinking I would be better off not taking a chance. Or by telling me I wasn’t good enough to be anything more...you were wrong. You know the last straw should have been the night before Morphicon 2018, when I started to have that fear of the unknown anxiety. But I was able to suck it up and make it! Then you tried again in when I was heading to Tennessee for Leadership with my sorority, luckily I was able to suck it up and put on my big girl pants AGAIN. Please leave me alone... can’t you see that I am not going to listen to you anymore. I am going to continue to follow my dreams and if I have to step out of my comfort zone I will because I have found that the more that I listen to my heart and do the things that I want the more I realize you are just holding me back. Every-time I step out on faith I grow because I accomplish whatever goal I set before myself. Now you want to put fear into my being with other worries, but guess what I will still defeat you as I have every-time in the past. A person can’t figure it out until they try. When you have a situation in front of you and you choose to try you come to a fork in your road and you are given more options, you choose again and there are more options. Yes it is scary, because we know that with good times comes bad times and there will be times when we choose an option and maybe things don’t work out in the first path, but guess what there is another path. You know I listen to Mariah Carey and you know she sang:
I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again on my own
And I know that I'm strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day and I make it through the rain

She also sang:

Up out my face boy
Up out my face boy
Up out my face, I break

You ain't never gonna feel this thing again
You gon' get a lot of calls 'cause I CC-ed all your friends (I break)
I ain't walking around all mopey and sad
Take a look at my bags baby (I break, when I break I break)

So basically I’m out of this emotionally abusive relationship... I am enough, and you are a joke. Don’t even trying messing with my fam or friends... vanish my dude!!! 

Sincerely, 

Princess of DE 

PS: 

Sad, Anxious, Impatient

There is an order...you must be patient...it's hard and that causes the anxiety and sadness. The path of your life is what God wants it to be...you can't mess it up by moving on feelings and ideas that comes from the explore page of Instagram.  In other words chill reclaim the relaxed spirit you once had....don't allow the spirt of sadness, impatience, and anxiousness, create an anger in you that puts a chip on your shoulder. As said yesterday faith defeats fear...don't lose faith in God's promises...just know He does it on his time and his time is perfect time....

Run in Faith Away from Fear

So I am driving from Middletown and everyone that knows me just said: "Say What,  when were you in Middletown and YOU DROVE!!!" 
Yes, I Drove... I will drive to anywhere in Delaware now, but I am not so keen on driving out of state... mostly driving out of state going north. I have been doing great with driving from Dover to Severna Park, MD on my way to Bmore with bae.  Anyone who knows me knows that this is a new thing for me. I have an interesting fear in the driving department. I think it has a lot to do feeling out of control and lack of confidence that probably stems from Driver's ED.  Regardless I know that sometimes I have to get in my car and go, but I don't really want this to be about my fear of driving. I want this to be about the messages that came to me while driving and that is... Faith will defeat Fear.

I was turning onto Route 1 to get home and that is what I started thinking about... Faith defeats Fear. We can have a fear of a lot of things. Many of Fear things because it comes from not knowing what is to come...so a fear of the unknown. First Day of school new teacher, you are shaking in your boots. Will they listen? Will they learn? Will they like me? ETC. The year goes by and you were successful, but a new year will follow and you will have the same questions about another class coming in only this time you may be less worried as you will have a better understanding of teaching methods, but there is still slight fear. 

I am 100% sure I am about to enter into a season of the unknown TO ME. God knows already I just don't know. I actually think many of us will enter into a season like this due to change to our country politically. 

I don't currently feel fearful of the future, but I got a feeling that feeling will sneak up on me when its go time and I will want to stay where I feel it is safe, but I have to remember that Faith will defeat Fear. 

So as I was driving and praying that the wheels didn't fall off (some fears are irrational) and one of my favorite scenes of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade came to my mind. It is when Indy's father is shot and the only way to save his father is for him find the Holy Grail. At one point he must take a leap of faith... I mean walk out on faith... Like it really looked like he was about to fall to his death, but he stepped out on faith and found the path to the other side.  Now as I mentioned I don't have any fears currently but that is not to say it won't try to catch up to me, I am just lucky that from about 2008 up to the present I have had little moments of taking a chance with faith that my fear has lessened greatly. Now my outlook is excited about the possibilities of the future and this is what I must tell myself if I feel myself staying with fear. (Fear is stagnated)

Watch the clip of Indiana Jones the Last Crusade and feel inspired: 

And also remember: 
He replied, "Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." Matthew 17: 20 NIV