How did I find Blogger? Why did I start one?
In the days of MySpace I use to blog regularly if not like 2 or 3 times a day. For whatever reason we all stopped using MySpace. I don’t know why. I just know we stopped. I tried other modes of blogging but nothing was quite like MySpace. I believe a gentleman that went to Howard started a blog around 2010 about his dating aspirations and the loss of his job due to the market changing. I am not even gonna say names because I found out he was put on front street by his ex and its messy. At the time I admired his work and I was having a tough time with working a part-time job, without journalism being involved. I am sure I searched “Blog Spot” because in the web link it always said Blog.spot. Searching blog spot sent me to blogger. So when I started the blog I had time because I worked where I was usually not very busy and in front of a computer. I was fairly bored. I was also at an age when I thought, as I got older and starter to mature and mature things would start happening in my life that I would want to share. (More info about that: https://princessofde.blogspot.com/2019/11/30-days-of-me-day-2-meaning-behind-name.html ) Unfortunately by the time those things started happening, I hadn’t kept up with the blog and decided to keep a lot to myself. For instance between 2014-2017 I was in a very good relationship... well good on my end (I have no complaints we just wanted two different things) ...and there were good times that I could have shared on this blog... (Would it be weird to share that now? 😂 ) At the time I shared pics on instagram, but I didn’t feel like I needed to go into details on a blog so I didn’t. I honestly thought I was going to get the ring, but I was wrong. In the mean time I started a Kpop/KDrama blog and I was posting on that one more. For example... my relationship ended at the end of February of 2017 and my favorite singer had a freak accident like the same night or something... I bet you I blogged about that... (Please view: https://kdramaseoul.blogspot.com/2017/02/jun-k-accident-during-d-3-of-6-nights.html )
I guess in the beginning I really wanted to show the life and times of the Princessofde, but as I would blog I really wanted to make sure I was promoting a positive message, which is why many posts were spiritual. I started this 30 day challenge to help me revitalize this blog... but I think it is going to help revitalize myself. 😂
Showing posts with label Living. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Living. Show all posts
Friday, November 29, 2019
Monday, August 19, 2013
He Could Be Me/ I Could Be Him
So I go onto facebook to announce that my Netflix account is back up and running after fraudulent activity but my joy was soon taken as an article about Lee Thompson Young was posted on my newsfeed from TMZ. He was found dead from what appears to be an self inflicted gun shot. He was 29.
For those of you who don't know Lee Thompson Young played Jett Jackson on the Disney Show: "The Famous Jett Jackson." Now I wasn't a disney kid, I grew up on Nickelodeon, but I remember every now and then catching this show on Disney and thinking wow he is a black dude with those gorgeous eyes with his own show on Disney....WOW! He went on to do other things and quite honestly I went on to be a fangirl to others.
The reason this story about his apparent suicide affects me is because it reminded me that no matter what, no matter who you are, no matter how successful you are or how unsuccessful you are, demons follow. It is up to you whether you want to live and fight them or give up.
For about two weeks I have been weaving in and out of depression like symptoms. I don't like that word so instead of saying depression I will say I was having some good days and some bad days. Sleep deprivation played a role, and recognizing that I am at another new beginning. New beginnings are good, but because its new its also unknown at times. I have two new beginnings, one I am currently looking for a position as a teacher; two I am dating someone. (Good times right? a time to be proud right? a time to be happy right?) Not sure where either will lead me, but I also don't like the unknown and fear arises. I have a lot of "I'm not good enough" thoughts. Not good enough to be anything that I desire to be.... That is my demon. And as I said, no matter what, demons follow. When you have gotten comfortable and have forgotten, oh cause you forget at times, that demon will be right on top of you choking you trying to take you out. The question is: will you let him win or will you fight?
I am not saying that this is what was going on with Lee Thompson Young. I don't really know his story, AND it has YET to be confirmed that this was indeed suicide, but he was 29. And that struck me because we are the same age. He was 5 days older than me. He would have been 30 on February 1st. Some of us have big problems with 30, I do. I feel like there are a lot of things I am not that I wanted to be by 30. I often feel like everyone's life is moving and mine is stuck. When I saw: "He was 29" all I kept thinking was he could be me or I could be him.
I am really sad about this brother's death, but my saying is that everything happens for a reason. When I read it I was immediately sadden, but at the same time I heard a word in it. I don't want to lose. So I have to fight. I only know one way to fight....pleading the Blood of Jesus and praying. I gotta get into the scriptures and remember the word of God, cause that's how you fight in this situation. I have all the faith in the world, but need more in myself, self doubt is just fear....
I can only hope that his man is at peace. I hope that he has found solace in the place that he is now resting. I really hope that any others that have found themselves in a situation where they feel that all hope is lost are able to find help before falling into a place in which they can't return.
(again I am not saying that this was the situation that Lee Thompson Young was in)
The light at the end of this tunnel is that, often at funerals a preacher gives a word and offers to whomever is there who needs Jesus to come up and become born again. I feel like to a certain degree the break of this story was sort of like a personal alter call.
For those of you who don't know Lee Thompson Young played Jett Jackson on the Disney Show: "The Famous Jett Jackson." Now I wasn't a disney kid, I grew up on Nickelodeon, but I remember every now and then catching this show on Disney and thinking wow he is a black dude with those gorgeous eyes with his own show on Disney....WOW! He went on to do other things and quite honestly I went on to be a fangirl to others. The reason this story about his apparent suicide affects me is because it reminded me that no matter what, no matter who you are, no matter how successful you are or how unsuccessful you are, demons follow. It is up to you whether you want to live and fight them or give up.
For about two weeks I have been weaving in and out of depression like symptoms. I don't like that word so instead of saying depression I will say I was having some good days and some bad days. Sleep deprivation played a role, and recognizing that I am at another new beginning. New beginnings are good, but because its new its also unknown at times. I have two new beginnings, one I am currently looking for a position as a teacher; two I am dating someone. (Good times right? a time to be proud right? a time to be happy right?) Not sure where either will lead me, but I also don't like the unknown and fear arises. I have a lot of "I'm not good enough" thoughts. Not good enough to be anything that I desire to be.... That is my demon. And as I said, no matter what, demons follow. When you have gotten comfortable and have forgotten, oh cause you forget at times, that demon will be right on top of you choking you trying to take you out. The question is: will you let him win or will you fight?
I am not saying that this is what was going on with Lee Thompson Young. I don't really know his story, AND it has YET to be confirmed that this was indeed suicide, but he was 29. And that struck me because we are the same age. He was 5 days older than me. He would have been 30 on February 1st. Some of us have big problems with 30, I do. I feel like there are a lot of things I am not that I wanted to be by 30. I often feel like everyone's life is moving and mine is stuck. When I saw: "He was 29" all I kept thinking was he could be me or I could be him.
I am really sad about this brother's death, but my saying is that everything happens for a reason. When I read it I was immediately sadden, but at the same time I heard a word in it. I don't want to lose. So I have to fight. I only know one way to fight....pleading the Blood of Jesus and praying. I gotta get into the scriptures and remember the word of God, cause that's how you fight in this situation. I have all the faith in the world, but need more in myself, self doubt is just fear....
I can only hope that his man is at peace. I hope that he has found solace in the place that he is now resting. I really hope that any others that have found themselves in a situation where they feel that all hope is lost are able to find help before falling into a place in which they can't return.
(again I am not saying that this was the situation that Lee Thompson Young was in)
The light at the end of this tunnel is that, often at funerals a preacher gives a word and offers to whomever is there who needs Jesus to come up and become born again. I feel like to a certain degree the break of this story was sort of like a personal alter call.
RIP Lee Thompson Young
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