The Beach... Forever?

Why are we obsessed with “paradise”? Or maybe it’s just me. At an age that I really didn’t need to I saw the movie Return to the Blue Lagoon. Not the famous Brooke Shields Blue Lagoon, but the sequel. Both movies are about children who end up on a deserted island and grow up unaware and uneducated about many things. Ignorance is bliss as they must and do survive living in paradise (without indoor plumbing). They also fall in love, have sex and make a baby on this island with no one but themselves. For whatever reason these sort of situations intrigue me. Probably because I can’t imagine 1.) going off the grid and 2.) no indoor plumbing. QUITE HONESTLY I think of female issues immediately because GOD knows it is every woman’s fear to be in a situation without out bathrooms and the necessary products to be clean.

YET... we or at least me... I have a fascination with being in “paradise.”  Is it the mundane of our daily lives that makes us want to give it all up and live on a beach forever, where the weather is always usually beautiful and warm? Or maybe it is because it happens to be winter and I am going through my “seasonal” depression.... IDK BUT after watching Leonardo DiCaprio’s The Beach at the age of 36 (opposed to 26 and 16) I don’t even know how someone would want to stay on a beach forever. Obviously #beachlife comes with its own set of issues.

I would get tired of sand and grit. I would miss soft textures like fleece, fur and pillows. Sand and Salt water makes for a great exfoliant, but like every day? IDK.  Also I can’t with make shift shelters like on Gillian’s Island. I mean look at them they were doing alright on the island and they wanted to get back home badly. I know that as far as people are concerned I don’t think I would really need them. LOL! If basic needs are met, such as food and shelter. (Few cans of bug spray) then I will be ok alone or with very minimum people. Seriously though the killer... the super killer... no WIFI. In this day and age is it possible to be in a place so remote there is no WIFI. I am sure places like that exist but my friends what good is a beach without sharing it on instagram. I am sure most of us don’t want to be all “cast away” complete with “Wilson.” When most people think of paradise they are are living their best lives in luxury.  We want to forget the stress of life and “paradise” helps until we go back.  I guess that is why movies like The Beach are interesting because these people really didn’t want to go back. If its an environment you grow up in then there is nothing else that you even know, but if you know the woes of the world then maybe you don’t want to leave. Me... I usually miss my bed and my stuff. I even miss my routine, like work and teaching. BUT there is always something in me that hopes to one day... go to some far off beautiful place maybe even with a dude I like or love or acquired in the hopes of going to a far of place. It still intrigues me... What far off place of paradise would you like to visit?

FRIEND FEATURE!!!!! JAZMIN

First Friend Feature: Jazmin... my friend... she’s not famous... yet... but she deserves a feature....

Why is she the featured friend this time around? At first I saw myself as a big sister to Jaz, only for the role to slowly switch as I realized how much wisdom was in her young self. She says things that are like UM did you live here before? Like if I were to say: “I can’t” Jazmin would be like: “But why not?” And suddenly it would be like a grand epiphany happened. 

Jazmin also has a very optimistic view of the world which is an example of #positivevibesonly . She’s not naive (anymore) she understands the ways of the world and when you really dig you find out she keeps it 100 as well, but when I see Jaz its like candy land... buttercups and lemon drops LOL! 

She is a legit opera singer. LEGIT. She can sing, and I have sung around her and her critiques are nice and not mean. She helped me come out of my shell to sing more out in the public. So if she says lets do karaoke I jump up for it like YES! She’s that cool like I sing with an Opera Singer... 

I am gushing about my friend but she is a breath of fresh air. AND I have friends every where and I gush about all my friends for different reasons and I know that all my friends know that I love them. I just decided to feature Jaz cause right now I think we have a lot in common. I know that sooner than later our paths are going to go in separate directions, but I know that I will be a better person having had the time that I did have with her. And I hope that she is better from knowing me although I think she will just be better aware of kpop then anything else. 

To really put it in perspective... you know how everyone says: “Check on your strong friend” sometimes ok most of the time I feel like I am that strong friend. I am the “strong” teacher, I am the strong friend, I am the strong daughter. I am the strong one and NO ONE would ever know that I struggle with things from time to time and I have my hottests (thank god for my hottests), but sometimes you gotta have that person who says: “We need to go do something.”  It is easy for me to get in my bag and stay in my room with my dogs and do my social media ALL DAY!!! Jaz is someone who is like, “We are going bowling, you want to come too?” And I really need that.  I don’t know if I reciprocate, but I try. A person like Jaz gives out positive vibes and in return the people she encounters can also spread positive vibes.  

Greatest Success

Success???? What is it? How do you measure it? 
OMG that is such a teacher question. You can measure success IF you have created a goal. For example: “I will write a blog each day over the course of the month.” That means my outcome should be 30 (or 31) days of blogs. If I write 20/30 then I was only 66% successful. (This was really some teacher type stuff OMG why can’t I be regular). Unfortunately I don’t have a goal that I can measure like that. I mean the past decade I did earn my masters in special education, became a teacher, became an AKA and met practically all of the power rangers and there is a way to measure that, but how about I talk about something that other people can’t really see and some people have trouble handling...

People have trouble accepting who they are as a person. People have trouble accepting themselves because “society” says you are to be a certain way.  For many years I was called weird or different. I mean a few kids in school, even friends, some family always made comments like I was the different one. I talked about this in another blog. I am saying I have been successful in accepting my “different.”  When people friend or foe say: “you are different” or “You are so weird” or “why are you like that?” It makes you start to wonder too, like WHY AM I LIKE THIS? I think the biggest battle is the “your obsessed”  comment. I am sure I have blogged about this as well, because yeah I am obsessed. That word had such a negative connotation and literally to this everytime that I hear someone describe me with that word I cringe a little. I mean don’t we use obsessed when we are talking about people who stalk and kill people. There was a WHOLE movie called Obsessed that about a woman who had become Obsessed with a married man to the point of stalking and trying to kill. And also lying about the whole thing. And someone once told me the better word would be passionate, I find that word to be a little disturbing as well as it tied to lust and sexual feelings. (Not to say that...)

When I like something, well really I love it. I mean if you want to get technical I talk about work a lot. I like my profession, enough that I enjoy certain professional developments, I like team meetings, when something is offered I most usually accept it, I never fuss when A child of a different grade level is placed in my class, I for real enjoy the challenge of figuring kids out. I like learning about how to better myself as a teacher and I don’t care which principal says I am “highly effective” or plainly “effective” there is alway room for growth. I “obsess” about whether I am doing/making the right choices for my students as I love them as they are mine for 8hrs 5days a week (most weeks). I ponder about how I can improve the well-being of my students at odd times. I was just telling my mom I have to stop myself from messaging people at late hours because they are probably sleep and at home chilling. No one will call this weird I guess because its for a selfless situation. BUT...

Oh Sweet Baby Jesus...

 YOU LOVE AND TALK ABOUT THAT KOREAN STUFF TOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!! WHAT IS UP WITH THAT!!! 

Yeah man... I love Jun. K. Yeah man... I have written a few fanfics with him in it. Yeah man I can identify Jun. K by his eyes and teeth... like don’t you wish someone loved you that much??? No? And yeah maybe its a lot... but it is what it is... I didn’t say to myself, oh imma watch this video until I memorize his molars, I just happened to notice that he has some dental imperfections. Who doesn’t? But that is besides the point. I have my other infatuations... I have had them all my life and its not just like Jun. K and Power Rangers and Michael Jackson and Marques Houston, its small little things, like all music. I often surprise people because I know Perry Como and Cole Porter, and I went through a Dorothy Dandridge phase. When I was a kid I watched Beauty and the Beast so much I can recite the movie to this day. That’s my only Disney favorite.  I actually love clothes or maybe its the textures and the colors, when I was kid I use to hug dresses that were sequined, and I fantasized about the day I would be able to wear dresses like that and now I do. If I can’t figure something out I work on it until I do. I also know random trivia facts. Like at one point I thought trying out for Jeopardy, but I am more like Jeopardy Junior/College genius lol. There are other interests, I just happen to have several pictures and posters of Jun. K as well as his solo albums on display, I have all of 2pms albums also on display. I buy Jun. K merch and I have no Regrets because these things I speak about have brought way too much joy. 

 

So... I am cool with this person... because honestly I am not sure what I would do without these “Obsessions” I feel like I would be a dull person. AND yes I bring this particular topic up quite a bit and that is for two reasons. 

1.) It affected me deeply. I mean even my mom had a lot of trouble understanding me as a kid (And she really probably was just tired of hearing me talk all day about one particular subject especially one that means nothing to her like Michael Jackson).

 2.) There are people who struggle with serious issues, regarding sexuality and other thoughts and feeling that are very difficult to bring up and discuss because they were shot down everytime they tried to discuss it, and they never get to fully live the life they want because they are scared to expose their life. 

I want people to be free. I don’t want people to be tormented by there own thoughts and the opinions of others when people should just “live ya life.”  

Its a tough road because you have to de-program your brain from thinking you are bad to know that you are awesome. 

I now know I am awesome because I am weird, obsessed, passionate, intense, a nerd, a geek, and whatever else has been said so I am able to say I am successful in believing in my awesomeness (I have to be my own hype man)

PS: I know way too many fangirls who don’t tell their families don’t tell their friends, their fangirling is like living a double life all because people act like its crazy or something. Don’t hide girls (or boys) love your bias HARD (or soft)

 

5 Dream Destinations

First I finished the 30 Day Challenge so click if you want to check that out and I did a Decade review too!

We are now living in 2020!!!

2020 ... Perfect Vision... We can only try. In the mean time I am ready to continue living my life. I have travel plans, but they are all within the USA. I am very fortunate to be able to travel with my line sisters to Florida in January. We are celebrating 5 years of being women of Alpha Kappa Alpha. Its also like a week before my BDay so I am counting it as a birthday celebration too. Then in March I will be traveling to Connecticut for NARC (The North Atlantic Regional Conference) this is a sorority trip again. I am excited. I feel like I learn so much, not just for the Sorority, but to also use in my life. I look forward to it, I have never been to Connecticut. Unfortunately, its going to be cold. Next will be BOULE in July. This is when members of Alpha Kappa Alpha from all chapters, all over the world join together. You don’t just learn about being in the sorority, but you meet other “sisters” and let’s be honest the MERCH!!!  What girl doesn’t love to shop. That trip will be in Philly which is super close. LASTLY (well so far) MORPHICON!!!! Back in Pasadena. What is Morphicon? A Power Ranger convention. It’s going to be hilarious because my brain is going to be wired in PINK and GREEN, but after Morphicon I will legit be the PINK ranger for the rest of the Year. 

Unfortunately those trips aren’t my DREAM destinations, BUT I think I will list the places that are and maybe sometime I can put a plan in place to travel to my dream destinations. 

1.) South Korea 

I am not even going to act like this isn’t stop number one. Sometimes I get down on myself because its like do you really want to see South Korea or do you want to see Jun. K? How about both... I was once inspired by a picture of a black women at the Gyeongbok Palace.

At the end of the day I need to just go and get it out of my system (as if it would suddenly be out of my heart). I also left this wide open because sure the Palace is in Seoul, but I will HAVE to take a train to Busan, and I have to see Jeju.  

2.) Japan

Originally Japan was the spot I had to get to, I mean there is a museum dedicated to Super Sentai and Mask Man. I need that kind of a place in my life. BUT then 2pm taught me about Okinawa, which is so beautiful. It seems like if I am going to see Jun. K it will be in concert and more than likely that concert is going to be in Japan. So LET’S GO!!! 

3.) Philippines 

So if my plan with Jun. K doesn’t work then its off the the Philippines to get a 90 day fiancé. I am slightly serious. I could appreciate a nice Filipino gentleman. 

4. Thailand 

I really Really REALLY wanted to go to Thailand, but I feel like its a bit saturated... in other words it has become the Cancun Spring Break of travel. They are really keen on tourism tho and I mean its beautiful there so I can’t knock it, but it also looks like the trip I need to take with a spouse or a significant other. So I guess after I bag Jun. K he will need to take me to Thailand, so we can stay at Nichkhun’s house (OMG his home is gorgeous). Even Jun. K might say, I’ve been there can we go somewhere else... and then I would say do you mean...

5. New Caledonia 

Sweet Baby Jesus ‘Boys Over Flowers’ left the biggest impression on me. When they traveled to New Caledonia I LOST IT!!!  I don’t even know where it’s located on the globe (and I have looked but never remember) but every now and then just to feel cultured and rich I ask Alexa: “What’s the weather in New Caledonia?” To me that should be the new trendy trip. I don’t know why no one has caught on to this one. Or maybe this one is played out and I am the one who doesn’t know LOL!! 

So Basically I want the Tour of Asia Special. Now if I were RICH RICH I would grab Kass, fly to Turkey grab Eylul and we would hit those spots together... I am 100% sure we would get stuck in Seoul and by stuck I mean arrested.