Focused on God’s Plan

In My Feelings... I don’t want to Feel No Ways...I have Trust Issues and this is just NOT God’s Plan. Eh, I have Draked way too much, but I have a reason for this... so lately I have noticed that I need to make a change. I feel like I am stagnate and I have felt that way for a little bit now.  I decided to write down some goals. To go along with those goals I decided I need to brainstorm and research so that I could write a prayer for each goal. I also found scripture to go with the prayer that focuses on the goal(s). How does this go with being in my feelings? Well at some point in my life a husband and a family would be cool, but it’s not necessarily the focus. Let’s just say I need to take that goal through the same process of  writing a prayer and finding the scripture, but in the meantime, my mentality is not there. When I think about what I am attracted to and what I like in a man and etc etc... I feel like most of those thoughts are shallow or I am just saying what my mom would want me to want in a man. Reality is I am very very very shielded when it comes to dating and its only getting worst as I get older and different insecurities come out that I have to learn to accept and deal with before I can allow someone to get to me. AND I am mad independent. I also can’t deal with bulls***. In other words dudes don’t know how to keep it real like just say what you mean and mean what you say... like if you like me bet if you don’t bet... like I am old people now like I am over childish garbage. For the most part I feel better with out the extra emotional feelings about having a boyfriend. I feel better without having to think about how I might have to uproot my life in order to make something work. I feel better knowing I only need to feed myself. BRUH I sound selfish af. LOL. But you know why??? Because I have changed my whole thought process for guys who were kind of stringing me along. It’s not their fault as Drake would say: When I good thing goes bad it’s not the end of the world its just the end of a world that you have with... one boy.” I like single. I like making choices for myself. What’s the problem?

The temptation. Duh, I am human and I know what feels good. AND I am not even talking about sex.  I mean like rough days when you really wish your dude will just hold you. Nights when you want to cry on dudes shoulder and he won’t ask what’s wrong he just understands you need to get that out real quick. Kisses. Times when you really just need a hug or when you need someone who (so-called) for real likes you and will tell you that you are cute. Someone to twerk to even when you look like a praying mantis. Someone who will eat a whole cake with you. I actually have plenty of girls to do this with but um I like the opposite sex. And my last ex had some annoying habits, not gonna lie I miss those sort of things in moderation. What I am saying is the physical is missed... what appeals to the flesh is what is missed.  I am not here to say: That is wrong and that is condemnation to hell. NOPE... although pre-marital sex is fornication and even having the slightest sexual deviant thought is fornication I am not here to preach on that... you go ahead and pray on that for yourself if you feel convicted... I just recognize such a temptation might make your brain travel away from your focus. I am asking God to help me stay focused and now all of a sudden I miss as hug from a dude from 2-3 years ago... get out of here with that, you know who is trying to keep me from glory.... 

If I am saying literally saying: I DON’T WANT TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP.  Then that is just not the way for me right now.  I am trying to be a girl boss. 

Although at one point Rihanna was dating some dude while building her Fenty Brand she also stayed focused and found herself single too. Someone might be saying we all grown you can get your swerve on and build your brand. I really can’t. I am trying to recognize that I have a purpose and I have a really big idea/goal. I need to hear from GOD about it and no one else so I DON’T need extra cause that will cause confusion. I am the type who would drop everything for someone else. I also recognize that everything will happen as it is supposed to in its proper time. It took a lot for me to admit that I would like a husband and family one day, because I was starting to be ok without that. It is ok to be alone...YES IT IS... Is is ok to want a family one day... YES IT IS. All in due time. All in God’s time... All in God’s Plan.... was 

Scriptures about staying focused: 

1 Corinthians 10:13 ESV 

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

Proverbs 16:3 ESV 

Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established.

Philippians 4:13 ESV 

I can do all things through him who strengthens me.  

Everything is one step at a time. 

In the meantime a girl can daydream 😂 SEE: 

30 Day Challenge: Day 18 Plans/Goals/Dream

Dream: a cherished aspiration, ambition, or ideal.
Plan: a detailed proposal for doing or achieving something.
Goal: the end toward which effort is directed

I had to be extra... and look up the words because although we tend to use these words under the same meaning they are not the same things. BUT looking at the definitions I see how they all work together. You are also going to have another word added and that word might just be: work. 

Work: to produce a desired effect or result. 

So it looks like you have a dream, you make a plan, then work on that plan until you reach the goal which means you were able to bring your dream to fruition. 
WHAT IS THE DREAM?

Is a dream realistic or out of the world? If I say my dream is to meet Jun. K, is that ridiculous because he is “famous” (not to mention a 14hr plane trip away) and that seems far fetched? Should my dream be closer to what I actually do daily as in my dream is to be the best teacher that I can be, become the national teacher of the year, and work hard to help students meet scholastic goals? Would that be more credible because it seems less selfish and also more career oriented?
The movie Hook teaches us that adults forget about the magic they had in youth due to all the b*llsh*t that devours their life once they “grow up.” Since I am 35 going on 36 am I a grown up who must turn silly dreams into more adult appropriate “dreams.”  I think Hook is also trying to teach us to never forget the magic we once had, true it might not be as bright as it was when we were 6,but there is a little gleam of happy thoughts that enables us to fly when needed. In other words DREAM and keep BELIEVING in yourself. YOUR DREAMS aren’t SILLY. As long as you have breath you can make a dream a reality.
SO...
I can dream of meeting Jun. K and being the national teacher of the year (honestly I feel like the probability of that is lower than meeting Jun. K), but what will be important for both of the those goals are my plans and the work I put into making it happen to reach the outcome, which is the dream. Its a circle or cycle. 

ALSO sometimes its ok to be vocal about goals, but remember you only need positive pushes from people and not negative pushes. Talk to people you trust about your goal or keep it to yourself. That is not the normal advice given, some professionals say to talk with others about you goals, but honestly I wouldn’t talk to anyone unless they were a person who had vast knowledge about the dream/goal and ways of helping you plan for your dream/goal. In other words I better go talk to the head of the Jun. K fan club and learn a little MORE Korean.


JUST STAY POSITIVE and make sure you keep GOD involved.