APPRECIATION POST!!!!

I was thinking... and realized its been a little while since I did an appreciation post... and then I was thinking who can I show love to this time....🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

This girl is Deborah!!! She is chill, she is lowkey, she is POSITIVE VIBES!!! I don’t think I have ever heard her like complain and if she does its with good reason. She is a silver lining GOD totally has my back kind of WOMAN!!! (Which is the best kind btw.) I have to highlight her for her positive vibes and because she has ALWAYS been one of my supporters. We go WAY back! Like High School way back. Even back then she was always very sweet. Moving on to College I was away at Howard, she was away at Temple and she would follow my blog on MySpace. (We aren’t old tho LOL). Recently, I think I said something on Instagram about my blog and she was like: “I gotta catch up.” Meaning she STILL follows my posts. THIS is so meaningful to me. BUT FORGET ABOUT ME let me tell you more about DEBORAH!

She is an author, self published I believe.... I was so proud that she did it. She actually accomplished something that I will be honest I am just scared too do. She and I always wanted to be authors, we even ended up at a writing conference right in Dover. I know one day I will get a book on the shelves or on your tablet, but right now I am just proud that she did it. Seeing her write a book and actually get it published encourages me and let’s me know I can too and I have her to go to an get some tips on getting it done. 

  Check it out on Amazon: Fractured Princess. 

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

She is also a BLERD!!! 

Certified BLERD, she was a BLERD before I was even keeping it real about my BLERDINESS. I have never seen her try to be the so-called NORM, she always stayed true to herself. I always wanted to be cool (I am cool, now that I owned up to who I am 😎) Deborah always did her thing.  She has always liked sci-fi and expressed it. She started watching Chinese Drama and even though my love is towards Korean Drama when I saw her ONE post about Chinese Drama I immediately “attacked” her with Chinese Drama posts. 😂

Lastly Deborah is a FIGHTER! You don’t know who you are influencing. I haven’t always thanked Deborah for always having my back even though we don’t even hang out. It never mattered. We always keep in contact through social media, I follow her, she follows me. She always posts herself as herself. Like she is happy in the skin that she is in. Another “Dover Girl”  doing the best that she can in her situation working toward being the woman she wants to be. There has only been positive energy from her. That is her influence (for me anyway). So when she posted that she was in a battle with Hodgkin Lymphoma I literally cried out loud. (My fam was like WHAT THE DEUCE?) I was just so upset that yet another person my age (and myself included) was going through something health wise. (I will tell you about mine in that book I have promised you all). I was asking God why? “Why is the most beautiful hearted person having to go through this?” But then I started reading her captions and she just continued to expressed all the positive vibes of life. She expressed the stats of being cured and OF COURSE she talked about how God would see her through. Then she carried on. “On periodt” as the kids say today. That’s the faith she lives in. So THANKS Deborah for always keeping it positive. I KNOW it hasn’t always been easy, but thanks for always being grateful and showing your gratitude to God, enduring pain, but expressing love!!! 

(ALL PICS BELONG TO DEBORAH) 

I've Come Down with Bad Case of Yellow Fever...and its OK!

I love black men, I love white men, I love Spanish men, AND I love Asian men…

What’s wrong with loving our Asian brothers? Yea…. I’m not sure, but I do know that for whatever reason albeit discrimination, racism, or misconceptions; black and Asian love has been taboo.  Even with this taboo recently I have seen and used #yellowfever quite a bit recently.  

#yellowfever 

According to urban dictionary: “When non-Asian guys have a strong preference or fetish for women of Asian descent. These men exclusively date Asian women. They also learn an Asian language and travel to Asian countries, attempting to find a wife. Like the real disease, there is no cure.” 

  LOL!!!!!! Urban Dictionary is hilarious and even though it only refers to men let me just say I know how to say Hello in Japanese, Chinese, Korean, Thai,  and Tagalog (Filipino). I am teaching myself Korean including Hangul to the best of my ability.
 

Taboo, K Drama and Admitting the Problem (Is it really a problem though?)

"Look mom Chinese people." Yeah I've said that a few times as a child. But in Dover, Delaware back in the late 80's early 90's you just didn't see Asian people like that around here. Or maybe I was just sheltered. I remember there was a little Filipino boy that lived down the street, but at the time he was just Jon. Then my first crush looked like:

Needless to say he was black and Asian. From there I put my love for the "chinky" eye aside. Not just because there weren't many to choose from, but from what we get taught as we get older, like the main assumption: "Asians don't like blacks." The movie Menace II Society took that to a crazy level.
 Then there are all the other assumptions that fall into place in misguided people like: "Asians are nerds." "Asian men have small penises." Then there are the ones I have come up with on my own like: "Asian dude doesn't like black girls." "Ok he does like black girls but I am not "black enough."" Or maybe: "Since he was the top of his Doctoral class and is now an engineer, doctor, scientist, professor of some smart people stuff why would he be interested in me." The worst one is: "They are communist." (Damn communist tho?)

THANK GOD FOR THE INTERNET...(even tho I also found the crazy mess smh)

...which has taught me most of our (and my) assumptions are wrong. Its not that Asians don't like blacks it just that like any other race they are fed the same stereotypical/generalized BULL that others are fed and have come up with their own assumptions. PLUS traditions from the "motherland." Its also a matter of differences. Just as I did as a child there had to have been an Asian kid who said: "Look mom, black people." ( Please read ridiculousness here Why do Asian People Love White People but hate Black People?) Also: http://www.brittneyhood.com/kenneth-eng-why-i-hate-blacks/
http://askakorean.blogspot.com/2007/03/cant-we-all-just-get-along.html
Believe it or not, all Asians are not nerds. Well... it seems that basically they are pushed to be the best academically and they are into some things that one can identify as nerd -ish, but lately the "nerd" aspect slowly goes away as they grow (just as we all grow) once they go out and see the world and learn more about themselves. Like I said we all make that pilgrimage.
Small Pee Pee's huh? Who started this rumor? I want to know who started the small penis thing. I feel like this rumor alone has cockblocked a- many -a Asian man. Ok so I averaged it out between 5 different Asian countries and scientifically/mathematically this could be true. SMH... The average of the five different countries was 4.2 inches and I don't know if this is while flacid or erect. If while erect than...all I can say is the average size in the USA is 5.1 so I mean.... BUT at any rate the internet/instagram taught me that the penis stuff is all a myth and you may be pleasantly surprised.... just like I was surprised to find a Chinese dude in Kentucky who was ok with dating black, white... ETC...(I happen to believe Chinese are the most "conservative" so this was new to me).
Regardless of any race I date, I worry that I am not "black enough" and that includes skin pigmentation and let's face it, an Asian dude recently told me he thought I was Asian and lets not forget all the Spanish guys who think that I am Spanish. SMH.... In those cases... Hola...Nihao! LOL!!! I also worry about things like hair differences and some cultural differences. (Like remember to take off my shoes)
  The last two scenarios, well one is from my own insecurities (of not being smart enough even though I work really hard to try to learn alot all the time, just not to be a doctor) and the other is from reading books based on the 1930's-1960's. I really shouldn't worry about communism but its one of the scary words the government has taught Americans to be afraid of....

 Like I said the internet has helped with all my misconceptions, but I wouldn't have even done the research if it hadn't of been for K. Drama. Yes Korean Drama. It got me. Like all the way. (and kpop) 

And with it I was finally able to say: "Hey he's hot!" And not feel "a way". 

Jonathan Stanton like YASSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!

 Then I found out there were others just like me, as in other black girls who loved Asian guys. That really made me feel like, oh wow I am not alone!

AND LET ME BE REAL:

Let's not front and act like black folks don't have a position on this situation because in all honesty as the Black girl in the situation I am the one getting the flack about it from my peers. Like when I showed a friend a pic of an Asian dude I found attractive; her response: "How do you find that attractive?" or others turning their nose up. Even though black men seem to love Asian women, I find some black dudes  jeer a little about black girls and Asian guys like: "why would you be with him, what can he do for you?" I actually had a guy act as if he had nothing to worry about when it came to an Asian guy and him because he thought HE was so much more good looking than the an Asian guy. HA! SMH... as if the Asian guy was not or could not be attractive to me. (That was just dumb.)

"We are all people, why limit yourself?"

EXACTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
And can we not look at these couples like there is something wrong... I thought that most of us were over the interracial dating thing. As many cream babies that are in the schools I really thought interracial dating wasn't such a big deal and the way people LOVE "blasian" babies, BUT the memes on Instagram tell me other wise...there is a whole, as I like to call it "underworld" of Black girls who love Asian men AND Asian men who LOVE black girls...
One day maybe we will stop being caught up on dumb stuff, maybe one day we will have open hearts, maybe one day we will open ourselves to learning about one another and maybe I am just a dreamer. At the end of the day whether a black man sweeps me off my feet or a polka dotted man I just KNOW he better treat me like I ought to be treated and love me as I should be loved and in return I'll love him in the way he needs to be loved.... (another blog for another day).... 

PS: It seems that "yellow fever" is a term really frowned upon. I don't agree with fetishizing a race or any other things. I don't fetishize Asians I simply find Asian men attractive.