Rut...

At some point between yesterday and today I realized I am in a RUT. It's one of those ruts that you don't realize you are in until you are neck deep in clothes and shoes.

I was going to write this blog about my current love life or lack thereof. I think this is the first time in my life that I don't have a crush on anybody. Like no man who I literally know is holding my attention at all. I have never been in such situation. (Had crushes since I was six, my first crush was on a third grader lmao) I have been single since 2/2010, which isn't that long and didn't feel that long considering I filled that year with two flings...College Boy and Mi Amor, which were both complicated situations that were entwined at times. Once I got over the latter, I have been crush free, but I did fill that void with what else? Ridiculousness...first Prince Royce, who helped me deal with after affects of having a latin love.
  Oh course he is young and untouchable. He became my latin Marques Houston. Luckily that fell off a little because although I liked his album "Phase II" I didn't like it as much as his first album which means he has lost my attention in so many ways.

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Jason David Frank, MMA fighter and 7th degree black belt Karate Entrepenuer

I don't know what happened after I drifted away from Prince Royce, but some how 28 year old Dani, made her way back to 10 year old Dani, and I binged on Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I told you this is not sex in the city. This is sex in  Angel Grove. It all went down hill when 1.) I found out Nicktoons had PR Dino Thunder in syndication (featuring Dr. O better known as Tommy the Green Ranger) and 2.) A free trial of Netflix which has all the Power Rangers. I have gone absolutely nuts, watching interviews, videos, massive crap on youtube of the power rangers lots of Jason David Frank (Green Ranger) Lots of Johnny Yong Bosch (2nd Black ranger) Love them! They have filled alot of free time. (Please look for future posts about meeting JDF...HYFR!!!)

Johnny Yong Bosch, voice actor for Ichigo of Bleach and live action actor

I have another love though, probably more than JDF, or JYB. My ultimate love and lover. I mean as long as I am Mama Warbucks, this thing loves me so much. I alone have helped the struggling economy....Shopping is my boo. I take care of shopping and shopping takes care of me. It almost doesn't even matter where I do the shopping, as long as I have money I will buy anything. (you mean like that Power Ranger bag with the Megazord on it or the monthly fee for both Netflix ANDClubfitness) Its clothes and shoes that ESPECIALLY make me happy. When I can't make it to a store, Amazon is ALWAYS there to fill that need that itch to pur-chase something. 

And this is what lead me to this particular blog entry. The rut. I am not a hoarder, but damn, I have bought soooooooo much crap between last summer and this summer that my room looks like a clothing store threw up in it. The rut comes from the fact that 1.) I clearly can't stop shopping (only when my bank account says stop) and 2.) I can't seem to be able to put any of it away. Its like I just go to my room sit on the bed, paralyzed then move my attention to MMPR or related movies. I will be going to an Anime Convention (JDF will be there) and so I have been trying to watch every Bleach episode. Aside from my extracurriculars I have been working and going to school. School started the whole situation (Putting the blame on something else) School work comes before everything (for the most part) Sick thing is I have had one full week of no classes, and I have only analyzed MMPR like the show wasn't made for elementary school students and watched all the videos I can on youtube. Did I mention Eyeshine? Oh yeah that is Johnny Yong Bosch's band. Also bought their music and have been listening everyday since June 1. My rut goes further...taken care of myself...not so much....yeah I was supposedly going on a no meat health kick, some how I got fatter, going to the gym, been there once since I signed up in May, and my hair??? My hair??? I have been faking with wet and wavy. I use water, oil and wrapping foam to  have that crinkle look and keep it moving. I probably haven't had my hair done since April or worst March. I don't even need to talk about other things that involve hair. BTW I will have a point in a moment.
My love life clearly doesn't matter to me. I don't work towards making any aspect of my life dateable, (as in "apartment" aka the garage my mom gave me) I don't make me available plus I look to be 15 years old (so not complaining at 28) I just appear to be jail bait.  I am not helping MYSELF....sure I am working hard at my job, and school, prosperous in that aspect, but I am totally whack in other aspects. I need help and that is what I realized...in all of my knowledge that I am clearly in a rut I have not stopped to get on my knees and say: "Hey God, help please." When we are prosperous in one or two areas, like with money, work, grades, it makes it seem like everything is great when really one can still be incomplete. To fill my incompleteness I filled it with what I have always filled it  with fantastical adventures via the Megazord. So tonight I need to bring it back with a good prayer...The line "Jesus Didn't Tap" can no longer be my bread and water, its not enough. Maybe I will get myself out of the ridiculousness save some money and move to a higher position in prosperity opposed to being stuck in one place becoming complacent.

PS: This blogger is called: "This is Not Sex in the City" and I wanted to talk about living in Dover and all that there is not to do here, but i get caught up on other things. It doesn't matter anyway. I will just say that I have been to Fraziers (The Lobby House) more in one month, than ever, because my first time was June.  Retirement Party, then Birthday Party, August will be my high school reunion and it will be there a well...there is my Dover girl moments.

PSS: If I decide to take myself to dinner, for crab legs and a glass of moscato, I'll get back to ya...smh!