I have been duped...by the media. I thought I wasn't one of those people but I am. They got me. I have been thinking that I am supposed to look like a M.A.C make up artist lives in my house to do my make up everyday and as if my genes DON'T carry a belly fat trait. I also need long hair and also short hair, that is blonde or brown or black or pink; hazel, blue and sometimes purple eyes; perfectly round, plump lips, and behind. Also boobs, cleavage must perfect, they must be perky, nipples should be even, 34 D...etc. And the images come at me from everywhere, its not just oh she's blonde and beautiful, actually now days the so beauty is someone who is racially ambiguous. We all seem to have the same skin tone lately.We all seem to be naturally thin as well.
Oh the Months I spent staring at this one pic thinking, "If that is what he
likes why is he into me, I am not her." And, "How can I attain what ever
it is that she (Christina Milian) has?" And then look at Bad Girl RiRi... and of course BEY....she seems to be a- many a- man's dream.... Now I know what you are saying BUT Princess DD of DE, you are way involved in your "nerd" world and that can't be showing too much of the same things that the media shows.... I mean.....
Comic Cons/Anime Cons both have ridiculous amounts of skin and are sexual in nature as well. Apparently we like our female superheros showing skin and cosplayers probably cause many boners throughout the day at a con. LOL!!!
Well Princess DD you are way into KDrama and KPop it can't be the same overseas can it??? 
Its much worst actually as the Koreans are super into their skin care and skin products, the girls are gorgeous as they are "exotic" and WAY skinny... the boys are prettier than the girls. So now I am feeling intimidated as well...
Speaking of intimidation.... because for whatever reason men (and woman) are living in gyms and guys are looking like:
BUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have two male friends who helped me realize that I am awesome as myself "Princess DD of DE" and that I don't have to be all of the above. First, the best compliment I have ever received in my life paraphrased: Independently I am happy/ able to be happy without the influence of another person. Something about that made me feel awesome, I guess because one of my fears is that the next time I am in a relationship I will lose myself in that person instead of having a balance of me and them. This same friend said that I was "one of a kind." I live to be unique so I guess I am doing something right.
These were both comments made after only a brief time together, which is amazing because I have never really known what other people see in me upon meeting me. At least I gave this particular guy the right vibes. Well I do believe that I was COMPLETELY myself with this person, I was actually really comfortable with them...hmmm.... anyway (no time to day dream I spend way too much time doing that anyway) another friend of mine explained to me that I had the beauty (and I suppose personality) as the girl next door. It's kind of funny be he is the Sam to my Clarissa (wow that is a throwback but explains it so well) he said in so many words that he has gotten tired of all the girls that look "airbrushed" (for lack of a better word in an ironic twist). I was venting to him about how I've never understood my face. I have never understood why I look the way that I look. I don't think that I am ugly (at least not the way I did as a kid) but I know I am not Beyonce (even if people say so). He said that the appeal of my look is that I am like the girl next door...as in I am that "around the way girl". I am a type of beauty that although regular, a breath of fresh air in the world that gives us so many girls who are made up and over all fake. I guess I should take the fact that so many people say that I look anywhere between 16 and 22 years old into consideration LOL!! Too many times I have been confused by school faculty to be a student. I don't wear make-up as in foundation and the whole nine yards. (I wear eyeliner, mascara, eyeshadow on special occasions, lipstick everyday) so when I am natural I look like:
My friend said: Love the skin you're in. That is a life long journey, but I am glad to have such encouraging friends to help me see my worth even though I am not like those mentioned above, over all there is something (legitimate) about me that is attractive and I need to remember to allow her to shine.
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