The Gym, My Disdain, and Why I will keep paying....

It was 5th grade....

We all stood in our rows for Volleyball during PE also know as GYM. Looking back I was incredibly awkward. All the kids in the class had grown up together at West Elementary, East Elementary, South Elementary, Hartly or Fairview. I was was from Arnold and Welch Elm. on the other side of town in the opposing district. I swear if I had of stayed in that district I would have become a cheerleader, voted most popular, and overall more out going. At William Henry I was not and in this district I would never be any of that...at the impressionable time of 5th and 6th grade I soon learned that I was the epitome of wack/geek/dork/nerd. Nothing about me was cool. And I didn't try to be anything, but wack/geek/dork/nerd...I loved two "things" Michael Jackson and Power Rangers although by the sixth grade I tried to put those things away to start seeing what the other kids liked...but I digress...back to the GYM...the other side was serving. They hit the ball... it came over...in my direction...and...bop! Hit me in the head. Laughter fell upon the group as I probably did something silly to get through the embarrassment. And that is what the Gym means to me...embarrassment.

It continues....

I am like 30 years and 2 months old and the Gym continues to mean this to me.  Even though in the adult gym there are like a zillion treadmills and bunch of other apparatus that the guys use and a little section for girls like me, I still feel like the Volleyball is hitting me. I still feel the urge to use comic relief to assist in my embarrassment even though no one is watching me. I feel like my body is quite odd, I am 5'1.5" in height. My arms length from my fingertips to my shoulder is at least 2'4" My legs from hip to feet are 2'11''. Those numbers sound small, but I look lanky and I am short so I just look weird. My mom is always saying you have really long arms, and a lady noticed my arms were long. I also have big feet for someone of my height. This is the things the folks on my dad's side are 5'9-5'10, the folks on my mom's side, 4'11'', 4'9''.  My great grand and my grandma were those heights. Put it to you like this...I am a petite who can't wear petite sizes because the length of the sleeves are "young" and the pants are always high waters.....

Apparatus...

Then what do I know about a gym? Yeah I took weight training at Howard...that was cake walk, I just did what I normally do, Lucille Ball/ blonde. Its easier. I always feel like I am doing it wrong. Like what is the correct form for a push up, or a crunch or a sit up. Do you use this for arms? Which weight should I use and at the gym even though there are "workers" asking them would be too much like right? LOL!!!

 

 Partners...

My mom is always like we should go to the gym on base.  She always says it's better when you have someone to go with you and I'm like to myself saying "Whatever, I do everything SOLO DOLO!!!!" That

is me as a matter of fact my nickname should be Dans Solo (Star Wars Humor). I have gone to club solo dolo, I go shopping solo dolo, I talk to me...(I know that's cray) but you know what I don't have anybody and I find that when I do it is a freaking wreck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Like shopping with a buddy can be terrible. If you are broke so you know you can't shop hard core, but you friend is ballin' you will find yourself in Neimans like I can't afford to look at these things. Vice-versa. BUT...aren't things a lot more fun when done with a pal? I really probably need to get a gym pal, but who? I walk my pals (dogs) everyday or at least try. Guess what they do? Stop in this really nice yard down the street and lays in their grass, like we aren't going for a walk....FAIL!

 Why is it all about WEIGHTS? 

At HU I got up to about 55-65 lbs on the bench press...yeah I am back to just the bar. What I look like lifting? A girl. That's how I look. Ok so they have yoga classes and aerobics...hello um Little Miss Awkward. WHY don't they have like volleyball class. I know this is hilarious, but ASIDE from the humiliation from middle school I love Volleyball, and GET THIS...I grew up playing tennis. Like I had lessons!! And I like to think that I was good at it. But that is what gym should be games of some sort of indoor sporting. You may be saying: "well there are leagues and city of Dover type things for that..." yeah I know I signed up for Tennis about a year or two ago and they mailed me my check back saying that they NO ONE ELSE SIGNED UP, just me. What a dork!!!

 

This is my sport right here!

I pay $10 bucks every month and I will keep paying....

I couldn't tell you the last time I was at the gym, but I keep paying like a dummy. But it seems like all 30 years old need a membership. Seriously "gyming" became a fad and I got my trendy membership so now I am trendy. I guess its adult me still trying to fit in.... Plus I am forever saying I need to go. The initiative/motivation is not there. It's actually really dumb because $120 plus that one time fee in January could by me alot of dresses and shoes....it is also a payment towards a bill, but I am an American I don't have number sense or smarts for money...I only understand capital capital capital....

I'll go...but today is not the day....

I still love Michael and Power Rangers...so I am pretty sure I am still that awkward little girl...and as I get older I am becoming more awkward. I am like where'd these boobs come from...why do I now need a REAL sports bras?  Everything thing jiggles, but hey if you don't go in the first place then of course it all jiggles. Sneakers? Reebok? Nike? Who are they? Ok I am over exaggerating but let's face it the last pair of sneakers I bought were wedge heels for style not running.