How Mariah Carey ruined my 4th of July

Fourth of July

By: Mariah Carey 
Trembling 
starry eyed 
As you put your hand in mine
 
It was twilight  
On the fourth of July 
Sparkling colors were Strewn across the sky 
 And we sat close enough 
 That we just barely touched
  While Roman candles
  Went soaring above us and baby
Then you put your hand in mine 
And we wandered away
  I was trembling inside  
But I wanted to stay, stay  
Pressed against you there 
And leave the world behind 
On that fourth of July

This song is featured on one of Mariah's best albums "Butterfly," which came out when I was an impressionable 14 going on 15 year old. I was awkward and wished that I could be "hot" but was NOT! I dreamed of  boys and boyfriends, but it was a different time and 14 years old weren't so damn grown, ok really I wasn't "grown" and I really wasn't that visible in school. Regardless of my popularity or lack thereof I had this album in heavy rotation. One reason was for the fact that a friend I lost to a move loved MC and the other reason being that this just a damn good record. My fascination with all things mariah began here. Fourth of July is a song not to be released as a single, a hidden secret if you will; being that if you weren't a fan and didn't listen to the album you would have missed out. After hearing this song and envisioning two young people together (me and Marques Houston) on the 4th of July, I thought about being in love, holding hands, watching fireworks, eating cotton candy or icecream together, embraced in each other's arms on the green in Dover...etc etc....lovely right...yeah....

Well...IT NEVER HAPPENED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

I understand the years that I was a "little girl" not allowed to "date" for most of those years, but from 18 until now...the 4th of July has usually been on of the most depressing days for me EVER!!!!!! More than freaking Valentines Day, I guess cause I have gotten a Valentine from my mom since I was a little girl and now as an adult I really try to do as much for my mom and bro not any "love".... I don't know Valentines Day takes a step back cause my BDay is the week before. I think Christmas is my next fave that would be a tad better with a "love" but I do so much for myself and my fam once again the lack of a love interest is no biggie. The 4th of July is nothing more that Fireworks and a moment that the USA acts like we really love our country and the independence that we have here. BUT because of this song, I built it up to be more, I built it up to be a romantic date. I built it into a night where you are with someone and that's the night you know you love them, I built it into so much more...the 4th of July is my Valentines Day. The 4th in my mind is like the night "he proposed". All from one song (which doesn't discuss proposing as it seems to be about two young people on the verge of a first love experience)...but imagination is a "helluva drug."  

 

 So starry eyed   

On the flowery hillside   

Breathless and fervid  

Amid the dandelions  

As it swept over me  

Like the wind trough the trees  

I felt you sigh with a   

Sweet intensity and baby

Then you put your hand in mine 

And we floated away 

Delicately lay entwined  

In an intimate daze 

A crescent moon began to shine 

And I wanted to stay  

Tangled up with you among the fireflies 

On that fourth of July

 

With my imagination taking off and my love life lacking the fourth of july is more like bubbles bursting and not fireworks.  Last year was an argument with the fam, because they don't need fireworks to celebrate. They don't need to be on the green...I need all of that...so I found myself on the green alone, so not only was I without a BF I was without those I care about....I will never forget the 4th I was with a boyfriend in tears because we didn't share the same enthusiasm for the 4th. I wanted to be in his arms he wanted to be home. Ok so what about when there was a new boyfriend...oh it was everything I wanted minus the "love" we had a great time but our relationship was more like being buddies...(no not FBs either!!!!) 

Thunder clouds

       Hung around  

          So threateningly 

              Ominously hovering 

                     And the sky 

                       Opened wide 

                           Showering
                              Then you put your hand in mine 

                                 And we ran from the rain 

                                    Tentatively kissed goodnight

                                       And went our separate ways

                                              And I've never truly felt the way that I Felt the fourth of July

 

So today is the 4th again...I haven't talked to my fam about plans...looks like it will be any other normal day...I am really trying to fake myself into believing such...its just a regular day with fireworks...yeah real regular. I guess I really need to grow out of the idea....I  believe it can happen, but it won't be today....part of me wants to boycott fireworks (just don't go), but the other part of me know how depressed I will be if i don't go....I thought of going on my own...without anyone, but the time between the parade and the "show" and the fireworks is LONG alone OMG!!! I want to have a better outlook and I want to try to keep from having issues this year. SO maybe I will go and take a notebook and write a story about Danielle and Marques (Houston) for old time sakes. BWAHAHAHA! 

 

Take a listen::::