The Gym, My Disdain, and Why I will keep paying....

It was 5th grade....

We all stood in our rows for Volleyball during PE also know as GYM. Looking back I was incredibly awkward. All the kids in the class had grown up together at West Elementary, East Elementary, South Elementary, Hartly or Fairview. I was was from Arnold and Welch Elm. on the other side of town in the opposing district. I swear if I had of stayed in that district I would have become a cheerleader, voted most popular, and overall more out going. At William Henry I was not and in this district I would never be any of that...at the impressionable time of 5th and 6th grade I soon learned that I was the epitome of wack/geek/dork/nerd. Nothing about me was cool. And I didn't try to be anything, but wack/geek/dork/nerd...I loved two "things" Michael Jackson and Power Rangers although by the sixth grade I tried to put those things away to start seeing what the other kids liked...but I digress...back to the GYM...the other side was serving. They hit the ball... it came over...in my direction...and...bop! Hit me in the head. Laughter fell upon the group as I probably did something silly to get through the embarrassment. And that is what the Gym means to me...embarrassment.

It continues....

I am like 30 years and 2 months old and the Gym continues to mean this to me.  Even though in the adult gym there are like a zillion treadmills and bunch of other apparatus that the guys use and a little section for girls like me, I still feel like the Volleyball is hitting me. I still feel the urge to use comic relief to assist in my embarrassment even though no one is watching me. I feel like my body is quite odd, I am 5'1.5" in height. My arms length from my fingertips to my shoulder is at least 2'4" My legs from hip to feet are 2'11''. Those numbers sound small, but I look lanky and I am short so I just look weird. My mom is always saying you have really long arms, and a lady noticed my arms were long. I also have big feet for someone of my height. This is the things the folks on my dad's side are 5'9-5'10, the folks on my mom's side, 4'11'', 4'9''.  My great grand and my grandma were those heights. Put it to you like this...I am a petite who can't wear petite sizes because the length of the sleeves are "young" and the pants are always high waters.....

Apparatus...

Then what do I know about a gym? Yeah I took weight training at Howard...that was cake walk, I just did what I normally do, Lucille Ball/ blonde. Its easier. I always feel like I am doing it wrong. Like what is the correct form for a push up, or a crunch or a sit up. Do you use this for arms? Which weight should I use and at the gym even though there are "workers" asking them would be too much like right? LOL!!!

 

 Partners...

My mom is always like we should go to the gym on base.  She always says it's better when you have someone to go with you and I'm like to myself saying "Whatever, I do everything SOLO DOLO!!!!" That

is me as a matter of fact my nickname should be Dans Solo (Star Wars Humor). I have gone to club solo dolo, I go shopping solo dolo, I talk to me...(I know that's cray) but you know what I don't have anybody and I find that when I do it is a freaking wreck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Like shopping with a buddy can be terrible. If you are broke so you know you can't shop hard core, but you friend is ballin' you will find yourself in Neimans like I can't afford to look at these things. Vice-versa. BUT...aren't things a lot more fun when done with a pal? I really probably need to get a gym pal, but who? I walk my pals (dogs) everyday or at least try. Guess what they do? Stop in this really nice yard down the street and lays in their grass, like we aren't going for a walk....FAIL!

 Why is it all about WEIGHTS? 

At HU I got up to about 55-65 lbs on the bench press...yeah I am back to just the bar. What I look like lifting? A girl. That's how I look. Ok so they have yoga classes and aerobics...hello um Little Miss Awkward. WHY don't they have like volleyball class. I know this is hilarious, but ASIDE from the humiliation from middle school I love Volleyball, and GET THIS...I grew up playing tennis. Like I had lessons!! And I like to think that I was good at it. But that is what gym should be games of some sort of indoor sporting. You may be saying: "well there are leagues and city of Dover type things for that..." yeah I know I signed up for Tennis about a year or two ago and they mailed me my check back saying that they NO ONE ELSE SIGNED UP, just me. What a dork!!!

 

This is my sport right here!

I pay $10 bucks every month and I will keep paying....

I couldn't tell you the last time I was at the gym, but I keep paying like a dummy. But it seems like all 30 years old need a membership. Seriously "gyming" became a fad and I got my trendy membership so now I am trendy. I guess its adult me still trying to fit in.... Plus I am forever saying I need to go. The initiative/motivation is not there. It's actually really dumb because $120 plus that one time fee in January could by me alot of dresses and shoes....it is also a payment towards a bill, but I am an American I don't have number sense or smarts for money...I only understand capital capital capital....

I'll go...but today is not the day....

I still love Michael and Power Rangers...so I am pretty sure I am still that awkward little girl...and as I get older I am becoming more awkward. I am like where'd these boobs come from...why do I now need a REAL sports bras?  Everything thing jiggles, but hey if you don't go in the first place then of course it all jiggles. Sneakers? Reebok? Nike? Who are they? Ok I am over exaggerating but let's face it the last pair of sneakers I bought were wedge heels for style not running.

To tattoo or not to tattoo...THAT is the question?!?!?!?!

http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=4641352332948409936#editor/target=post;postID=2708228528244890616Nowadays er'body and their mom have tattoos. I don't. And that's ok. And I could die today and be completely satisfied with being tattoo-less, BUT...

I've always said I want a butterfly tattoo on my butt

 Now I am like maybe not on my butt, but somewhere. Is it sad that my thing for butterflies came about from the same album I talk about in the last blog...Mariah and Butterfly...but it wasn't the song that inspired me. 

It would actually happen later on in life when Mariah started flaunting her gold and silver butterfly rings. 

 

Those rings were glamorous and shinny. From there I was all about butterflies...and for me it started with just rings and grew to necklaces and then earrings and now most people identify the butterfly with me too. LOL!!! Moving on...the point is I don't think the butterfly will be leaving my life...and if I had one tatted on me I wouldn't look at it 20 years from now and be like: Damn, WHY!!!! Plus I am already almost 30...my frontal lobe should be fully developed and I should be able to handle a decision. So then the problem? Permanency. Tattoos are pretty much forever and one thing about me I am not a forever person. (I guess in marriage but I am not married now so...go figure). I don't get weaves or braids now because 2 weeks to 3 months is too long for my hair to stay the same. My nail polish color changes almost every two days...a week if I'm slippin' so how will i feel when I can't wash the tat away? 

The next problem is, the tattoo artist. Obviously this is someone you trust. In a shop that is clean cause Hepatitis spreads with tats my friend. Not to mention the other STDs/Is that are passed through blood. I think this was my mom's biggest concern. I am more concerned about the person in charge to do the tat. I know a place but I still hesitate. 

Money and Pain are not a concern. Money I am starting to make a little here and there to spare, and $50 to $100 on something would just mean I don't have $50 to $100 to spend on more shoes and clothes. Pain...hahaha...what pain...when it comes to pain I am a G...because I have been through pain....

I think this is pretty.

Now the question is where can it go?  When I told my ex about having a butterfly tat on the boo-tae he was too thrilled more like annoyed with the thought. Problem with tats are the fact to a small portion of people they are still slightly unprofessional. I am a teacher and no one thinks of their teacher to have tats, at least I don't. To be honest my idea of a tat is for it to be in a place where only my boyfriend/husband can enjoy it. Hence the photo seen here.... 

So legs, arms, hands, feet, shoulders, upper back, and ankles all out of the question. That leaves the tummy, thighs, and the lower back aka the tramp stamp...OUT of the question as well!!! Once again hence the pic, I love it, but to have a tattoo artist that close to my lil princess is not so cool. There has to be a good medium here. Over I am really thinking about it like really thinking, not just saying: "Oh I want a tat." Like really thinking! To decide. It a big decision, for me at least. But when I look at the butterfly I feel it could happen....

How Mariah Carey ruined my 4th of July

Fourth of July

By: Mariah Carey 
Trembling 
starry eyed 
As you put your hand in mine
 
It was twilight  
On the fourth of July 
Sparkling colors were Strewn across the sky 
 And we sat close enough 
 That we just barely touched
  While Roman candles
  Went soaring above us and baby
Then you put your hand in mine 
And we wandered away
  I was trembling inside  
But I wanted to stay, stay  
Pressed against you there 
And leave the world behind 
On that fourth of July

This song is featured on one of Mariah's best albums "Butterfly," which came out when I was an impressionable 14 going on 15 year old. I was awkward and wished that I could be "hot" but was NOT! I dreamed of  boys and boyfriends, but it was a different time and 14 years old weren't so damn grown, ok really I wasn't "grown" and I really wasn't that visible in school. Regardless of my popularity or lack thereof I had this album in heavy rotation. One reason was for the fact that a friend I lost to a move loved MC and the other reason being that this just a damn good record. My fascination with all things mariah began here. Fourth of July is a song not to be released as a single, a hidden secret if you will; being that if you weren't a fan and didn't listen to the album you would have missed out. After hearing this song and envisioning two young people together (me and Marques Houston) on the 4th of July, I thought about being in love, holding hands, watching fireworks, eating cotton candy or icecream together, embraced in each other's arms on the green in Dover...etc etc....lovely right...yeah....

Well...IT NEVER HAPPENED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

I understand the years that I was a "little girl" not allowed to "date" for most of those years, but from 18 until now...the 4th of July has usually been on of the most depressing days for me EVER!!!!!! More than freaking Valentines Day, I guess cause I have gotten a Valentine from my mom since I was a little girl and now as an adult I really try to do as much for my mom and bro not any "love".... I don't know Valentines Day takes a step back cause my BDay is the week before. I think Christmas is my next fave that would be a tad better with a "love" but I do so much for myself and my fam once again the lack of a love interest is no biggie. The 4th of July is nothing more that Fireworks and a moment that the USA acts like we really love our country and the independence that we have here. BUT because of this song, I built it up to be more, I built it up to be a romantic date. I built it into a night where you are with someone and that's the night you know you love them, I built it into so much more...the 4th of July is my Valentines Day. The 4th in my mind is like the night "he proposed". All from one song (which doesn't discuss proposing as it seems to be about two young people on the verge of a first love experience)...but imagination is a "helluva drug."  

 

 So starry eyed   

On the flowery hillside   

Breathless and fervid  

Amid the dandelions  

As it swept over me  

Like the wind trough the trees  

I felt you sigh with a   

Sweet intensity and baby

Then you put your hand in mine 

And we floated away 

Delicately lay entwined  

In an intimate daze 

A crescent moon began to shine 

And I wanted to stay  

Tangled up with you among the fireflies 

On that fourth of July

 

With my imagination taking off and my love life lacking the fourth of july is more like bubbles bursting and not fireworks.  Last year was an argument with the fam, because they don't need fireworks to celebrate. They don't need to be on the green...I need all of that...so I found myself on the green alone, so not only was I without a BF I was without those I care about....I will never forget the 4th I was with a boyfriend in tears because we didn't share the same enthusiasm for the 4th. I wanted to be in his arms he wanted to be home. Ok so what about when there was a new boyfriend...oh it was everything I wanted minus the "love" we had a great time but our relationship was more like being buddies...(no not FBs either!!!!) 

Thunder clouds

       Hung around  

          So threateningly 

              Ominously hovering 

                     And the sky 

                       Opened wide 

                           Showering
                              Then you put your hand in mine 

                                 And we ran from the rain 

                                    Tentatively kissed goodnight

                                       And went our separate ways

                                              And I've never truly felt the way that I Felt the fourth of July

 

So today is the 4th again...I haven't talked to my fam about plans...looks like it will be any other normal day...I am really trying to fake myself into believing such...its just a regular day with fireworks...yeah real regular. I guess I really need to grow out of the idea....I  believe it can happen, but it won't be today....part of me wants to boycott fireworks (just don't go), but the other part of me know how depressed I will be if i don't go....I thought of going on my own...without anyone, but the time between the parade and the "show" and the fireworks is LONG alone OMG!!! I want to have a better outlook and I want to try to keep from having issues this year. SO maybe I will go and take a notebook and write a story about Danielle and Marques (Houston) for old time sakes. BWAHAHAHA! 

 

Take a listen:::: 

 

 

 

Been Putting This Off...

You would think that I would have finished a blog by now discussing all the exciting things that have occur since February, but I can up with excuse after excuse and I don't know why.... This blog was started to go over the situations or fulfilling journeys I learn from or my achievements...I really just didn't know what to say, but since its been a while I can do a time line of events starting with....

1.) Student Teaching
     -In the last blog I was saying something about student teaching killing me...but it was my excitement for Lexington Toy and Comic Con (we will get to that) but student teaching was an awesome experience. First of all I was working under the advisement of the Teacher of the Year for the school. Second with as many doubts that I had about myself as I began and as I continued in student teaching everytime my advisor came to observe my teaching I received positive feedback and scores that said I was doing above average as a beginning. Student teaching was an excellent time for me! Very positive!! 

2.) Lexington Toy and Comic Con YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Such an amazing convention. I am really meeting my goal, I have met Tommy, Zack, Billy of the original 6 MMPR cast. Of the second sort of original MMPR cast, I met: Aiesha and Kat. But then I met other rangers and it was amazing. My Power Ranger goal isn't quite complete and it has become quite addicting. I need to meet Adam (Johnny Yong Bosch) like BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I need to go to the next morphicon as well!!!!

3.) Temporary Sub...
Yeah that happened, I finished student teaching and they place me in a classroom where a teacher had an accident causing her to be out for the rest of the school year. You know everything happens for a reason. Another very positive getting my feet wet experience. I actually wrote and helped to write Official IEPs. Great stuff I can add to the resume. 

4.) Graduation, Master's  of Special Education...get 'em!!!

5.) Summer School
   Yes I got a  position as a teacher!!!! Doing the teacher thing is slightly difficult but that's just because of stuff like what I am doing right now...staying up late bull jiving...I mean blogging, other nights its KDrama. I love it though! I am sorry it took me so long to find teaching. 


Now you know what the next huddle is...mmmhmmm getting that position for the school year....everything has already fallen into place so I will continue to have faith and believe that everything will continue to fall into place!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just the beginning...

Earn my master's of special education.... I DID IT!!!!