You v. You...Forgiving YOU!

Let's be real...
It's hard...
What...
Loving yourself...
Sometimes you can look at your life, look at mistakes or what you think are mistakes and you judge yourself...
You think: Damn seriously is that not the third...fourth...fifth...time, have you not learned...
You think: You are so old and where are you now? 
You think: At this point why bother...
Buying, wearing things to feel pretty...to feel handsome...to look put together;
on the outside...
You even trick yourself into believing you are pretty awesome...
Until that moment of silence, that walk outside, when you can hear the arguement that is going on with yourself...
When yourself is calling you out on you idiocracies...
And you want to cry, but you can't let them see;
you sweat...
You let yourself beat yourself up when you are alone...
Just quit while your ahead...
Its not you its...
You...
Just RUNAWAY! 
You can't run from yourself...
Wherever you go...
you go...
Running leads to false contentment...
But you will catch up to you and you will hate you again...
What do they say? 
Only God can judge me? 
Maybe you should tell you, only God can just you...
Maybe you will leave you alone...
Maybe you should remember the past has passed...
Go ahead...
Cry...
Get it out...
Scream...
Call yourself names... 
Wish that you had never been born...
It hurts...
You can' t help that you hurt...
When its all out...
When no more tears can fall from your eyes...
Get yourself to a mirror...
Look at yourself...
Don't get angry at the cry baby face you see...
Look yourself in the eyes...
And apologize...
Say: "I'm sorry, I've hated you, for the same reason haters hate." 
Because underneath it all...
Deep down...
You know you have a purpose...
So apologize to yourself...
Then you should forgive yourself...
God already forgave you...
If God forgave you...
You have got to see that you have to forgive yourself...
And feelings of being less than...
They return at times...
You have to remember that God forgave you...
And you forgave yourself...
So keep going....

***************FIN************
When I am down, I turn to writing...and I through journaling blogging, writing, whatever, I talk myself out being sad or down and hope that someone else can relate and it makes them feel better too....