Tuesday, December 7, 2010

EX-mas Fail

Every year it seems like I have got to bring the Christmas cheer in the house. Once I go up into the attic and start bringing a bunch of the Christmas decorations down my mom finally gets in the mood for Happy Holidays. So I went up grabbed some boxes, (no tree yet, waiting for someone to move the furniture), and I find the box with all of our many different tree skirts. (My mom has a different theme every other year, as do I.) There is the one that is red with white tassel-like trimming, another red one with crème colored lace trimming, an all gold one, an old school cheap white one with glitter, and a plaid one (that is not actually a tree skirt but that’s what I used it for), but the best discovery of all the tree skirts were the stockings. Let’s see, there was my brother's, Mom’s, Dani’s and …. There was a stocking with my ex’s name on it and I was like WTF? First of all I forgot I made it last year, second why didn’t he take it, and third why did I make it to begin with?
It must have been a case of “2gether 4ever syndrome.”

 In  grade school when you had a crush or a boyfriend you’d spend all of one class period(in my case Math) to scribble that person’s name all over your notebook. It would look something like:  
In any case the notebook would be ruined, when you stopped liking them or the so-called relationship ended your notebook would look like:
This happens in adult relationships too, like when a woman thinks a man will stay 4ever when she has his baby. Often ladies fall victim to the “2gether, 4ever” syndrome.  Men don’t because they usually can’t imagine the idea of “2gether 4ever”; it’s fatal to them if they even try!
Maybe it wasn’t necessarily the “2gether 4ever” syndrome, maybe it was the simple fact that I enjoy Christmas, and I like to make people feel good regardless of their relationship to me. (Or maybe I am an idiot.)
The fail of the Ex-mas stocking goes further than just, “well we broke up”; in my household we make stockings with a name glued and glittered. Last year I found out you can shave glitter off of a stocking to put another name on it (don’t ask), but this time around I can’t shave it. I guess I can just give it to him for him to have this Christmas; it’s just too bad I can’t shave it.   
Unfortunately, (for the next “boyfriend”) I don’t think I’ll be doing that anymore. No stocking for you and if I do make one it will be those throw away kind; probably won’t have a name on it at all. I don’t even think a fiancé can get a Christmas stocking after this fail.
You may not think that this is not that serious and you’d be semi right, but you have to think about all the other things you may be doing outside of a stocking… is your favorite shower gel at his place (because you forgot it after the break up)? Is your favorite tee shirt, in his drawer that he designated for your belongs even though ya’ll stopped talking a year ago? Do you have one of his tee shirts in your room? Have you ever had a box of your things sent via mail from a disgruntled person?  If you answered yes to one or more of the previous statements, then you should take a second look at this blog. (I better read this one again.) 

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