Why did I do this again? Natural Hair...That I don't wear natural....

I'm not sure what happened,  but this summer something must have hit me upside the head.

The truth is I must have gone through some sort of depression as I knew my time as a teacher of some of the best kids was just about over and I didn't know what, if any opportunity would come up in the future. I mean that's the only thing I can think caused me to be the person I was and could still be as I'm not sure if I'm truly out of it.

Anyway in the midst of all this I let my hair go. What do I mean??? I stopped getting a relaxer. I just started doing my own hair. Its been about 6 months. Now I didn't do the big chop (which is dangerous as the relaxed hair on the ends is weak and will break) but my roots are completely "natural". When I first wash my hair and see my edges curl up I'm just like: why??? My hair texture is amazing.... amazing in the fact that I don't understand how it can be the way it is sometimes. My edges can be compared to the Jackson 5's Afro. I mean straight up motherland type, but underneath it all waves. Waves and waves. I wish I had one texture preferably the waves as they are easier to manage. 

The reason I have continued without using a relaxer is because my hair still comes out looking like: 

The only thing that has troubled me was recently I found that humidity apparently causes my hair to um "re-coil". This could be a problem this summer, well it is already a problem because for my job I swim in a heated pool, heat and water equal humidity and re-coiling. 

Will I go back? I don't know. Maybe...Maybe not.... depends on if I want to keep having to take the time to work on my head. The thickness is difficult but I get through it.  I don't think it is any healthier than what it was with chemicals. 

I do know that I prefer my hair straight. I didn't do this because I wanted to be natural and sport a fro or locked hair. I did this to prove to myself that I could. Plus my mom was going though with her hair and I told her to stop getting a relaxer so it would only be right to do the same. 

Natural hair is just going to take a lot of extra time and effort...OH and good products...that is another problem in itself.....