I had an appointment in which my outfit had to be so so…ok it was an interview…. Now everyone knows that the official interview outfit is a black suit, slacks or a skirt, or blue suit of the same. I absolutely hate this…I mean if there was something I could do away with, it would be the black suit, and at times the LBD, Little Black Dress…sure both are sexy, but at times absolutely boring. (I also don't care for the color black because it is so dreary and slims me in which I don't really need to look any slimer since I have been slimming down anyway and that is pissing off, but that is another blog for another day.)
I thought this interview was going to be a bit more relaxed, so I asked my mom what she thought I should wear hoping she would say kahkis or something…and her response was: "well everyone has been wearing black suits"…(the interviews were in the building she currently works in) so immediately I became disgruntled, and these are the words that came out of my mouth that were etched into my head: “I hate black suits, they don’t show personality.” And as I walked out to walk my dog, it hit me like a ton of bricks: I am too dependent on my clothes.
I thought about that as I walked down the street with the pup. It became clear to me why the basic black/blue suit is used…they want to see you the person…not you the cute outfit. Like if I had of worn the outfit I wanted to wear (which I wore to substitute a 6th grade class and one young lady said: you can dress!) they would have seen the cute outfit, but not me the person. I mean some people use that to their advantage…a woman can use her sex appeal with men…for me that was unnecessary (all women panel). Overall I felt some kind of way about myself. I felt like a clotheswhore. I thought about my daily activities with clothes and how lately I've been feeling like if I think something is missing from my outfit I need to buy it…like ASAP…like I wanted to wear a particular dress that's brown and cafe with a few spots of fushia and I wanted to highlight the fushia. I have fushia sandals and a fushia purse, but I needed like a fushia jacket because I always need something for my arms, I wanted to go somewhere right then at that moment and buy the piece that I needed, but I couldn't so I had to put something else on. This happens on a regular basis and I by clothes, shoes, purses and accesories anytime I am paid...and that is a problem.
A nice outfit makes me feel good, then if people compliment me it is instant gratification so clothes go a long way, but I should be confident in sweats...and I mean those "I am on my period sweats," LOL! But I don't. I have felt like crying when my outfits weren't coming out as planned. I spend time and money to find items I need to make complete outfits. I guess this really isn't as big of a problem as one might think, but overall I do feel like at times I let clothes speak for me, they say look: isn't this printed dress cute and don't I seem a little bit more personable in it? When really I have to speak real words to be personable.
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| See this is a learned behavior, my mother taught me LOL! |
It is important for me to look good, and when it comes to my look I am also a perfectionist and it bugs the hell out of me if just one piece of hair is out of place ( I have taught myself to realize we can't be perfect so relax) and I also dress for MYSELF. Let's be really people make assumptions everyday based off of how someone looks...I would prefer someone think that I am classy, rich, and a nice person than to think that I am a floosey because I have on some high heels and a short skirt, (not that I wouldn't where this in the appropriate atmosphere) People notice; girls and guys, some people say they like it, some don't and others I KNOW hate (which is another reason for my dressing) but overall I dress the way I dress because I represent myself and I want someone to see a professional sometimes, spunky, or classy, or girlie, most of all womanly. Not trashy or as Destiny's Child described a Nasty Girl. So even though at times my dressing is a lil OCD with colors, matching, accesories, and shoes there is an overall reason. I just need to know how to ensure how to show my personality with or with out the pretty clothes.
By the way I got the job even if it is just over the summer it is a door opening opportunity, which means my goals are so coming along!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Goals achieved for 2011
1.) Enrolled in a Master of Spec. ED. progam
2.) Position Aquired as Summer School Para Professional!
3.)
4.)
5.)
Got a few more to go.... :-)
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