Saturday, August 22, 2015

Just Breathe...When Jesus made Starbucks that much better!!!!

I don't fully remember everything about this story about Alexander and his bad day, but I know he went through a series of events in which he felt ruined his day. Friday seemed like that to me. 

To summarize it had been an upsetting Thursday evening as two adults a daughter and mother argued momentarily. The Daughter at time just feels that there is a lack of respect especially since she is 31. The daughter basically feels the mother wanted her to jump when the mother said jump, but the daughter feels that if she is asking for a moment before jumping that should have been respected. When trying to express that feeling the mother either missed the concept of respect or doesn't feel the daughter is owed that respect so not wanting to go into it any further the daughter forfeit, the mother having the last word, nothing being resolved for the daughter, so the daughter was distraught in her feeling of  being treated like 13 year old instead of a 31 year old. 

So Friday is a new day and of course everything is as if nothing occurred the previous evening, the daughter is expected to smile and go about her day still pretty hurt about the night before. There are bigger concerns anyway or at least other concerns that are creating some disheartening scenarios for her career. Its a matter of calm and collected matched with anxiety and adhd. Making sure there is a team effort but recognizing the one terrible trait of teachers who have their ideas and although express a face of i am considering your idea really just have their own idea in mind. Two teachers unifying, two sort of different styles, we do have to collaborate, so the daughter/teacher is hoping that when the dust of getting class rooms set up and meetings settles their will be a better amount of what collaboration feels like to her. 

So with those things on her mind she is ready for Friday and the big event(s) a training and a meet and great cook out for students.  She leaves the house pretty early knowing that there are higher expectations or at least hoping there are higher expectations of her this year. When she starts the car she realizes she forgot to grab her Starbucks frappe she had bought knowing she would need them this week. She said it's early enough I will run over to 7/11. Bag in hand she goes over to her car and the gentleman next to her says: Have a great day! She says: "You too." At the car trying to put the car clicker to unlock the doors it happens so quickly with the bag slipping  from her fingers like it was never in her hands and in an instant the glass bottle of the Starbuck Frappe shatters. In that instant that daughter/teacher wanted to shatter into tears upon the same ground next to the glass and the now spilling drink. The gentleman who hadn't left immediately enquired about what happened and offered to buy another but she said, that's ok, I probably wasn't suppose to have it. That is the statement we like to go to when something doesn't quite go our way. Its a way of getting over the anger. Because in  her head she wanted to snap and curse and cry, but knowing that doesn't solve anything she just got in the car and took a deep breath (after wiping her pant leg) and went on to the next part of her day. 

On the short drive to the school she assessed the situation because she as a daughter/teacher she is always reflecting looking the way things were handled. She wondered if her "have a great day" "you too" response wasn't truly heartfelt and honest. Was it really a matter of she didn't need the coffee drink? Does God allow for such situations because he feels you don't need the coffee or was it to stun you to slow you down because your eyes aren't truly open to that morning. Why would God allow for your money to shatter? I mean that's what was really being thrown away. Or was it one of those moments when he allows something bad to happen so that you see him again? Or is just an accident? 

She never really got an answer. She just breathed let it go and drove away.  She went on to do what she needed to do prior to going the training and even though it was a terrible training (well boring and stressful as there are some new things put in place to make things tedious for spec ed teachers) she was with a few colleagues who she respected, a new person who seemed to get it and appearance of camaraderie with the other spec ed teachers of the building.  

Basically the day got better. A certain amount of  the hurt from the previous night washed away, and the stress of teaching was washed away with a successful Meet and Greet BBQ. Principles were jolly and the new superintendent was even around speaking with teachers, parents, students, and custodians.  

So maybe there wasn't a lesson in the shattered coffee. Or maybe there is, but it won't be understood until later. Or maybe the lesson is "everything is going to be alright." And that is usually true. We stress out regularly. We worry about so many things throughout the day, but really if we just let it go and recognize that God has our path set and does all he does it for a reason, we could cool out a bit.  

And there it is...the answer... worry had overtaken the mind. There is no need for worry. Looking back at the past 3 days, worry was apart of all of them. Even though everything seemed calm. And if anyone remembers in Matthew Jesus uses parables to teacher certain aspects about God. Don't worry because God has your back is one of the biggest teaching. Momentarily that lesson was lost.  It took a shattered coffee drink to help wake up out of the fog of worry. 

With tomorrow here maybe I will be able to grab a coffee and drink it with the peace of the Lord over me.    





Monday, August 17, 2015

OH and... natural...

I am natural again... going back to relaxers was crazy... I am trying natural again because I just want to see who I am... if that makes sense.... plus relaxers cost....getting my hair pressed is cheaper... LOL.... this philosophy is hilarious.... I am just tired of the process... even though the natural process is like WORK!!!!! Especially since I hate ummm... coarse...edges... let's be 100 um the term is nappy.... I apologize for those who don't like that word but um yeah... my edges be like.... AHHHHH Real Monsters.... luckily there are products that help.... I am like 4 months in... I can't remember the last perm.... hmmmmm.....


but why is it called natural?why don't we just call it hair?

Random a year later...The dream wedding that got away....


Once upon a time I was about 10 years old and my mom was a maid of honor in a friends wedding. I was a junior bridesmaid.  My mom actually helped this and other weddings and has a bride's plan book. I would often look at that book especially as a pre-teen, when I was planning my wedding with Marques Houston. Marques and I were married several times btw. Once during the winter actually for some reason the winter one is stuck in my memory. I guess because many of the stories began with us already being married. Moving on... 


As I got older my wedding morphed with the relationship... such as the Howard U wedding.... the military wedding.... yeah... *crickets*

A few years have since passed. Marques is engaged to some chick name Marlena (its been a really long engagement and I am just like so when are y'all gonna *in my lil kim voice* "do the damn thing?") Relationships have come an gone and Danielle or as I like to refer to myself,  Miss Daniels (its a teacher joke, the kids can't pronounce my name and I don't correct them) has grown ALOT. Like ALOT ALOT.... 

One of my favorite things to do was dream/fantasize about love, families, "hearts, Stars, and Horseshoes, Clovers and Blue Moons, Pots of Gold and Rainbows, and Red Balloons...they're magically delicious!"  My wedding was a big part of that, but at some point through the process of personal growth and near death experiences I was just like...No....

I haven't thought about my wedding in years. I mean I have thought about the dress, I always thought I wanted the mermaid style, but sometimes I want a pretty pretty princess gown. I have always adored a princess cut diamond but now I am liking that emerald cut. I thought I wanted to be married on a beach, but my backyard isn't looking so bad. 
That tiara tho.... First wedding be like...

This isn't some sort of strange engagement announcement.

But questions and ideas have been brought to my attention. And I just find it completely crazy that this chick who has married Marq at least 5 times (in my head) has no idea what my wedding should look like.... and maybe it's because it's not a for sure thing...its just let's talk out of our a$$es momentarily. 

I actually find it to be sad. Most people became bridezillas I am just like maybe I should put it in my mom's hands when the time comes. ("Indy, Big mistake.") 

I guess I also use to be rich in my stories so there's the biggest difference. How I wish I could say money is no object... hahaha I only feel that way in a  Forever 21. 

Saving money, is probably a good idea...I also had no idea plates of food were so expensive, like why? My mom has been saying lately you should have a small wedding...which I would really like to know how one with large families and lots of friends can accomplish? Ppl gotta eat...and its a grip... smh.... 
Second wedding be like...
Being that its (engagement, parties, bridal shower, weddings, reception) in the horizon of the future I guess I can find that book my mom bought  oh so many years ago and try to remember one of the weddings I had with Marques.....

PS:  Pinterest just makes it worst. 
PSS: Mariah Carey was a guest for me and Marq you think she can make it to the Ryan and Danielle wedding...how does that work?