you are denied, refused and rejected.
So I received like five rejection letters in my inbox today and I’m like: I must suck five times worst than everyone else. Seriously though, I am not even going to trip. Four of them were letters from this poetry contest I entered. That was already a one in a million type shot anyway. The other one was for a job, which they said they would call in a week to see about a second interview, well it’s been two weeks, so I already knew it was a no- no.
Sometimes when I think about how many times I have interviewed at different places and have talked about the best answers to the normal questions, I get so frustrated with myself. The other night I was thinking may be I am like just regular, just average and had never been above average.
When I was in elementary school I was above average, when I was in middle school I was still above average, when I got to high school I was still an A and B student, math gave me some trouble and so did science, but I was still a good student, college not so much. When I was in college I worked HARD, but my grades were nothing like high school. Therefore I must be average or maybe even below average and when I interview it shows, but I know that this is impossible. I AM above average and the proof is the grade of B, I received in my Black Political Theory class. This particular class was the sort of class that people withdrew after the first paper was a fail. It was hard and the professor was hard and was looking for a specific answer that most students could not come up with on the top of their heads. You had to think differently. I didn’t withdraw, (I couldn’t because it was part of my minor) I kept working hard and was dubbed a Philosopher, which philosophers can’t be below average. (Or so I think, lol)
(A couple of years after I graduated I actually helped a student at Howard with this same class after they came across my paper that I was published on this site that paid for college papers. They got a B too!)
I don’t know what exactly causes me to be rejected I just figure may be there is something out there that is better. I mean if you want to get technical the job I applied for is not what I interviewed for; I mean the guy actually said that the application is misleading. Now what does that say about things nowadays?
I have come to a point in my life where I can’t be too hard on myself about this kind of stuff. I mean sure it is disappointing but there are only more to come, especially with my new project in the works (Geeking at the thought of it, so psyched out) and with the fact that I am a writer who is always submitting my work, I know I will get rejection letters. One day I will get the accepted letter or the call that is someone saying “You got the job,” it’s just a matter of what opportunity is actually for me and what door God has opened for me, because that means it is open and only he can shut it.
Revelation 3:8 (NIV) I know your deeds. See, I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut. I know that you have little strength, yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name
When I get that acceptance letter (whichever, whatever whoever might send one) I will act just I did when I got that one from Howard, the Real HU! *tears of joy*
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