30 Day Challenge: Day 9: Proud

 So Last Night I was working on Day 9 which was to discuss something that has happened in the past few days that made me proud... not only was I having a difficult time, I also was slightly disheartened  to even do this... I was also EXHAUSTED. Lately work is wiping me OUT! But below is the paragraph I was trying to work on.
(*** where I stopped last night)
Day 9: Proud
Honestly I am proud to be using the best practices when it comes to working with my students. In a meeting recently I felt supported because it was recognized that I was doing the right thing when dealing with particular behaviors in my classroom. I am not knew to tantrums and I also understand the only behavior I can control is my own. I feel like I was able to maintain my cool with kids and adults. I explained what techniques I had been using and I was praised for those techniques, and in a positive was given pointers for the future.  The whole thing goes a LONG way for me, because there are way too many times that as a teacher doing the best that I can for kiddos who are unique with special needs, and no one acknowledges the good I have brought to the table. Sometimes that is disheartening as you bust your butt for the school... because genuine praise can go a long way. Which is why we are supposed to be praising children all day. It should be a genuine praise.

***This is why I like to give compliments to others because you never know when your compliment just made someone’s day.  Also not gonna lie, as much as I try to remain cool, calm and collected, like totally nonchalant about stuff... being “highly effective” as a teacher is like getting an A+ and brings me pure joy. I mean if I’m going to do a thing I ought to be being the best... so if I can’t be Beyonce on stage, then I might as well be Beyonce in the classroom. And I am not being rewarded or awarded, but my kids (students) are better people because of me. At least that is what I see in them in the 2nd grade (sometimes first sometimes 3rd) during the school year.

Blessings.... Give onto others.... You never know how you are Blessing someone....

I try to do my best with tithing. I feel like I was better at it in the past even with making less money. I had less bills though. So, I didn't budget well... and well here comes Sunday. I whip out the check book and there is an amount on my heart to give, but that meant I had to BE OH SO VERY CAREFUL until payday. Meaning my almost daily trip to 7 eleven in the morning had to stop, any fast food had to stop and no online shopping until further notice. All very do-able especially since I had already planned to do coffee from home, and had stocked on these honey roasted peanut protein pack I snack on. 

When I came home from work I found left overs warmed them up, but saw that my dogs were about to be out of food. I usually get a big box at Foodlion but recently they had only been selling the small boxes, but I know Acme sells the big boxes. I also remembered that my students reminded my para and I that we need to have special pencils for St. Patricks day. My para had looked at the dollar store but hadn't seen any so I said I would go to Party City. Acme then Party City that was the plan. 

Remember I am on a budget so I could get to excited in party city. So I am looking around I found pencils for both St. Patricks and Easter, two small play brushes for barbies or my little pony so my my one female student would be able to brush their hair. And really cute sign for outside of my classroom. Not much. I was trying to be really careful because I didn't want to go over.  I get in line.  Their is an older African American gentleman behind me who asks if I was a teacher. I said "yes" and said "as a matter of fact all of this is for my class." He said, "yup I could tell." So I go to pay and she begins ring it up and this gentleman comes and says, "I am taking care of hers." And I am just like kind of at a loss for words. I want to say: "no sir that's ok" but I also no I am not supposed to block my blessings. It wasn't that much but it was still a huge blessing in two ways. First monetarily and second humanity. 

I told the gentleman that, "when you sow into others you will be blessed times over what you give." He even asked me if I need more pencils. I explained I only have 3 students. Humanity or being nice, showing care, having a heart, noticing a teacher, noticing the love we have for students that was the other blessing. I do have a heart for my kiddos. I am always trying to figure out how to make sure students have a great day, are safe, fed(they don't always like lunch), and learning. 

But I can relate this situation back to Sunday and tithing.  To be honest sometimes when I give I don't always remember that God will give back to me over and abundantly. But today I wasn't just sowed into monetarily but I was shown how good people can be... I was reminded that I need to show others the same kindness.  I knew that this was something that I couldn't just write a small Facebook post. 

This isn't the first act of kindness in this year. Someone else blessed me and I would have blasted it all over Facebook because one it was kind of her to think of me and two I really look up to her, but I don't think she really needed it to blasted everywhere. BUT GOD IS SO GOOD because not long after she blessed me, she was blessed monetarily 10x what she had given to me and I automatically knew it was God blessing her and I explained it to her. I am not one to preach but in that moment I knew it was God. Prior to that my boyfriend took me to a teacher store I carefully chose things trying to stay on a budget but when we got in line he took care of it saying "I just want you to be successful." 

Now I am starting to see a the bigger picture, God's picture... These individual situations are all blessings into my career. Lately I have been questioning my teacherdom as I have some exceptional students or should I say students with exceptionalities. It gets REALLY REALLY hard. But now realizing that these 3 times of what I can remember, (because my para blesses me as well) are times my career has been sowed into I know that I need to stay on my path. 

Thank You Jesus!!! Please bless those who have blessed me! AND help me to bless others and to be a blessing to my students!! Amen!!! 

Just Breathe...When Jesus made Starbucks that much better!!!!

I don't fully remember everything about this story about Alexander and his bad day, but I know he went through a series of events in which he felt ruined his day. Friday seemed like that to me. 

To summarize it had been an upsetting Thursday evening as two adults a daughter and mother argued momentarily. The Daughter at time just feels that there is a lack of respect especially since she is 31. The daughter basically feels the mother wanted her to jump when the mother said jump, but the daughter feels that if she is asking for a moment before jumping that should have been respected. When trying to express that feeling the mother either missed the concept of respect or doesn't feel the daughter is owed that respect so not wanting to go into it any further the daughter forfeit, the mother having the last word, nothing being resolved for the daughter, so the daughter was distraught in her feeling of  being treated like 13 year old instead of a 31 year old. 

So Friday is a new day and of course everything is as if nothing occurred the previous evening, the daughter is expected to smile and go about her day still pretty hurt about the night before. There are bigger concerns anyway or at least other concerns that are creating some disheartening scenarios for her career. Its a matter of calm and collected matched with anxiety and adhd. Making sure there is a team effort but recognizing the one terrible trait of teachers who have their ideas and although express a face of i am considering your idea really just have their own idea in mind. Two teachers unifying, two sort of different styles, we do have to collaborate, so the daughter/teacher is hoping that when the dust of getting class rooms set up and meetings settles their will be a better amount of what collaboration feels like to her. 

So with those things on her mind she is ready for Friday and the big event(s) a training and a meet and great cook out for students.  She leaves the house pretty early knowing that there are higher expectations or at least hoping there are higher expectations of her this year. When she starts the car she realizes she forgot to grab her Starbucks frappe she had bought knowing she would need them this week. She said it's early enough I will run over to 7/11. Bag in hand she goes over to her car and the gentleman next to her says: Have a great day! She says: "You too." At the car trying to put the car clicker to unlock the doors it happens so quickly with the bag slipping  from her fingers like it was never in her hands and in an instant the glass bottle of the Starbuck Frappe shatters. In that instant that daughter/teacher wanted to shatter into tears upon the same ground next to the glass and the now spilling drink. The gentleman who hadn't left immediately enquired about what happened and offered to buy another but she said, that's ok, I probably wasn't suppose to have it. That is the statement we like to go to when something doesn't quite go our way. Its a way of getting over the anger. Because in  her head she wanted to snap and curse and cry, but knowing that doesn't solve anything she just got in the car and took a deep breath (after wiping her pant leg) and went on to the next part of her day. 

On the short drive to the school she assessed the situation because she as a daughter/teacher she is always reflecting looking the way things were handled. She wondered if her "have a great day" "you too" response wasn't truly heartfelt and honest. Was it really a matter of she didn't need the coffee drink? Does God allow for such situations because he feels you don't need the coffee or was it to stun you to slow you down because your eyes aren't truly open to that morning. Why would God allow for your money to shatter? I mean that's what was really being thrown away. Or was it one of those moments when he allows something bad to happen so that you see him again? Or is just an accident? 

She never really got an answer. She just breathed let it go and drove away.  She went on to do what she needed to do prior to going the training and even though it was a terrible training (well boring and stressful as there are some new things put in place to make things tedious for spec ed teachers) she was with a few colleagues who she respected, a new person who seemed to get it and appearance of camaraderie with the other spec ed teachers of the building.  

Basically the day got better. A certain amount of  the hurt from the previous night washed away, and the stress of teaching was washed away with a successful Meet and Greet BBQ. Principles were jolly and the new superintendent was even around speaking with teachers, parents, students, and custodians.  

So maybe there wasn't a lesson in the shattered coffee. Or maybe there is, but it won't be understood until later. Or maybe the lesson is "everything is going to be alright." And that is usually true. We stress out regularly. We worry about so many things throughout the day, but really if we just let it go and recognize that God has our path set and does all he does it for a reason, we could cool out a bit.  

And there it is...the answer... worry had overtaken the mind. There is no need for worry. Looking back at the past 3 days, worry was apart of all of them. Even though everything seemed calm. And if anyone remembers in Matthew Jesus uses parables to teacher certain aspects about God. Don't worry because God has your back is one of the biggest teaching. Momentarily that lesson was lost.  It took a shattered coffee drink to help wake up out of the fog of worry. 

With tomorrow here maybe I will be able to grab a coffee and drink it with the peace of the Lord over me.