Flip this REGRET!

Usually I am regret free. I live free, do what I do, and live with the consequences. I just don't usually do anything. I don't make bad decisions so I don't usually have regrets. When I do, do something that could leave me with regrets I recognize my mistake and move on... I don't think I will be able to move on from this....

Please don't laugh at me after reading this...

So I spent a weekend with my college bestie in Raleigh, NC. The last night I was there we went out "cause we like to party." While at the party I danced with this guy. I had noticed him notice me long before we danced and hoped he would "holla." He got his chance and we danced for a while. He kept telling me how damn beautiful I was and we chatted through our dance. I noted it was my last night. He noted I should go back to his place. I noted I was leaving in the morning. (my polite way of saying HELL NAW). In all of this I found out he was Filipino and that he liked black girls and some where in there I was kissed on the neck and then kissed a complete stranger (which I am not proud of considering all the grossnesses in the world today but I don't regret it because I never kissed a Filipino before and it was a life long dream LOL {true in so many ways}) It wasn't a french kiss or deep kiss anyway now that would have been effin gross just a peck. (and not the only peck of the weekend, cause we/I like to party) anyway we soon drifted away but still watched each other in the club and then somehow I lost sight of him. Him and his Asian brothers(it was a whole gang in there and all I could think about was America's Best Dance Crew), were no longer in sight. I kind of let it go, danced with my friend and her friends a little more than we turned to leave. I kept looking around but I didn't see the guy, ( I do know his name by the way at least what I think I heard in the club) Just before I walked out I turned back and saw a dude that had been with my dude and everything in my mind and body wanted to go to that dude and ask him where his friend was but my feet wouldn't move,(college Dani would have done, but then again college Dani was young and dumb) I just kept moving. And now I wonder. Not like you know something could come of it, per se, but this guy and I had a stupid crazy attraction. I mean from the time he looked at me and I looked at him I wanted him and I know he wanted me and even if it was sexual (which it wasn't so much that way for me more than likely it was for him) it was deep because it felt like that stuff that they show in movies. You know like that silly scene in Glitter when Mariah was in the crowd and dj dice walks over to her and like he goes in slow motion, thats what it was like.  I mean like if I had of had another day in NC, SMH I dunno what would have happened. It just seemed like a lost cause in the moment. Now he may not remember what happened that night; he could very well left the club and never thought of me again but that hasn't helped my mind. I mean I use that to make myself not think of that moment but I haven't stopped thinking of that moment since I came home. As a matter of fact it is the premise to my next story. I mean I am a big believer in Faith and God so then everything took place for a reason right. I mean maybe the reason is just to have the story idea and it is about to be the best story every and sell a million copies. Or maybe there will be a reuniting (wishful thinking) or maybe I am to simply look at this and recognize my mistake so that I don't let it happen again. If that is so I wish that I could move on like I have in other situations. I can see his face clearly and I feel like there is unfinished business. My friend basically felt like it wasn't that serious and the fact that I was out of town made it even better. You know what happens in, name of town, stays in, name of town. I guess. That would work for any other person but I am not the average.... well I already have the story plotted out for the most part so it will be hard to forget as I write something that will be my wishful imagination at its best and its very very fictional. I don't usually write stories that I feel are like completely irrational but this is an irrational situation so...my regret can become a success...that is if I can write and do the story justice. The moment was such an outer body experience that I don't know if I can write it because I am not sure if this Dani was even their when it happened. Maybe that is because when I relive it I am seeing it instead of being it anyway...if there was mistake made it was not having enough time to probably pimp while out of town.

And I wasn't drunk during any of this...most people know my drinking style is slim to none....