The Fourth Wall...a new superstition

Breaking the 4th wall LOL!

Have you ever heard of the “fourth wall”? If you are an actor or work in theatre than you probably know that the “fourth wall" is an imaginary wall between the audience and the actors on stage.  Even though I am fully aware of stage rules, I didn’t know about this wall. I mean I didn’t know there was a term for it. My brother informed me about it when he was technically forced against his will to listen to The- Dream and in the song Sex Intelligent, The -Dream sings  : Know this song is over….and my brother was like he just broke the 4^th wall and I was like what…so my brother began to ramble as he does in the voice that came from our father and tells me all about this wall… so I say oh yeah Marques Houston does that in another song called Mattress Music and he sings: First I want to thank you for buying this cd, I promise when you hear it, you’ll be thanking me….  Any way I didn’t think about this wall much until last night!



I have been chatting with a facebook friend for about 3 days now and this person is pretty cool, technically he’s local and because he sort of grew up in Dover/Camden, and went to school around here he is in my safety zone.  (Everyone is assumed to be a murderer regardless of the safety zone creditals) So he has my number and wanted to upgrade our convo to a phone call and even though there is nothing wrong with this I am really trying to do these relationship things centimeter by centimeter, not that it’s that serious, I just feel like other situations moved too fast and ended in the same speed…slow motion might make things last longer, or end quicker… I just feel a way about these things now so taking time is best.  During our convo  I told him his profile pic reminded me of an example internet pic, you know how you like go to a site and it teaches you how to use the site and in the example they have a picture of whomever doing whatever or like you google pictures of something and all the pics are like set up professionally like an ad…that’s what his profile pic looks like. So I said that he might not even be a real person.

One of those internet
not real ppl pics

We both thought that this stuff I was saying at probably 12am or 1 am was hilarious and I guess the idea of him being an imaginary person made him want to call or maybe it was the inconvenience of typing I dunno but I didn’t want him to call me so I told him it would break the fourth wall and it all snow balled in to  the most hilarious bunch of jokes ever. 

Now I get to the point of this blog…unfortunately I was serious about this fourth wall and I made up excuses so he wouldn’t call but the truth is…fear.  I guess I’ve been down this road before…I meet someone virtually or in real life, we chit chat, it’s the best convos in the longest, so much in common, he’s attractive or his personally overrides something that is unattractive, we decide to meet, we date, we crash, and then we burn and I am left to think about how dumb I was for allowing them in my life to begin with.  I felt that if he had of called me, he WOULD have broken the fourth wall and the show would plummeted from there. Jinx…a phone call would have been a jinx. Like I was joking saying a phone call would have been like the movie the Adjustment Bureau because he broke the fourth wall and the earth would shatter, something would have shattered. 

I know this all seems silly, but sometimes insecurities and emotional wounds create another realm of problems.  You get caught up in trying to make sure that you aren’t hurt again. If it stays at a lower friendship level you shouldn’t get hurt right? (Apparently this is called undermining) I think at times my mind is clouded with so much and that is the big reason I decided to try and work on my goals…I tend to get lost while in relationships because I forget my role is GIRLFRIEND not WIFE not even COMMON LAW WIFE. It took me a minute to understand that this is what my mom’s point has been all this time. I just want to make sure at the end of the day I’ve got all that I need for me regardless of who is at my side and if I decide to share it with them or not you know.

The fourth wall maybe imaginary and it is easily broken but try to keep it up for a while, make sure you  have a strong foundation in yourself, and then break the barrier. That’s what I’ll be working on.

When you are ready Karate Kick the wall down!